HOT Talk!

The best clip from T.V.'s hottest show!

HOT Drama!

WTH! The best clip from T.V.'s hottest show!

HOT Drama!

WTH! The best clip from T.V.'s hottest show!

A sexy pair of heels & a yummy lotion perks me up every time! Yes, it's the little things...

Colin Stuart Peep-toe Slingback Booties $118, www.victoriassecret.com, Nature's Gate Organic Neroli Orange & Chocolate Mint Body Lotion $9.99, www.natures-gate.com

HOT Drama!

WTH! The best clip from T.V.'s hottest show!

HOT Drama!

The best clips from T.V.'s hottest shows!

My scalp is itching like crazy! and patting this weave just won't do! Help!

Believe me, patting your head all day can be the most annoying thing imaginable. Unfortunately, itching while wearing a weave occurs because the pores in your scalp is not getting enough air - causing excess moisture or extreme dryness. There are some products that temporarily relieve itching and reduces the amount of patting per day. Try Jane Carter Solution All Natural Scalp Nourishing Serum and Organic Root Stimulator Dry Scalp Relief Oil for itch relief.

For more hair advice & product recommendations, email Sassy Styles Beauty Supply at SassyStylesNY@hotmail.com or call 212-234-8846. If you have a beauty question, email us at info@prettythoughtsofahotchick.com

Hot Chick Chic!

Kim Kardashian in one of her & her sister's designs for Hot Chick fav clothing boutique bebe. Kim, Kourtney & Khloe for bebe debuts Feb. 11th.

Be inspired! Check out Bebe, Neiman Marcus, Zara & Macys for similar finds.

Hot Chick Chic!

Actress Zoe Saldana is a fashionista's fav in this cute strapless mini dress.

Be inspired! Check out Bebe, Neiman Marcus, Zara & Macys for similar finds.

"I've made you question who I am..." - Tiger Woods in his public apology.

Who Are You?

Tiger Woods gave a heartfelt apology for his past behavior and some folks are speaking ill about it as if they can't be accounted for anything. Yeah right! How many times have you lied? Ever promised your family member or friend that you'll come to their event sayin, "Yeah, I'm coming." Then turn right around and say, "I ain't going to that shit." How quick are you to turn a blind eye to your own errors but quick to point, judge and criticize someone else's flaws? How many of you attend your temple or church on Saturday or Sunday and say "You walk with the Jesus" or "have God in your life", then act evil if something or someone doesn't go your way? Or those of you that smile up in a person's face then speak badly about them behind their back? How many of you tend to hold everyone else, except for yourself, responsible for what you do? I guess it's easy to shift the blame and pretend to be something you're not, huh?

Yes, Tiger f*@ked up. He's HUMAN. People aren't perfect, not even, celebrities. So we do we expect them to be then crucify them when they're not? The measure of a man or woman isn't in their accomplishments or mistakes, but in their ability to take responsibility for their actions and get over whatever obstacles lie ahead of them.

So how are you handling your own mess? And if anyone knew, what would they say about you?

A Butt Ache! LOL!

Last night, I received a call from a good friend of mine who's always into something...literally...and needed a little...huh...assistance...

FRIEND: Hey Girl!

ME: Hey Baby! What's up?

F: Girl, I got a little issue.

M: What's wrong?

F: My butt hurts!

M: What?!

F: My ass hurts!

M: Come again?

F: That's the problem!

M: What the hell! LOL!

F: Don't laugh! LOL!

M: Girl, you are a mess! You couldn't tell dude to slow down. What happened to relaxing your muscles? LOL!

F: Girl I tried. But I thought I felt a little tingle and wanted to climax one more time. I'd read somewhere that some women can explode that way.

M: And now your butt feels like it's been through one hell of an explosion! LOL!

F: Right! Guess, I'll take it easy next time. But this ass is out of commission for a while.

M: Chile please! You'll put that butt on ice until he starts wetting it up again! LOL!

F: LOL! I know that's right! Ouch! Stop making me laugh. My butt is too sore!

Why do we care about someone's preferences?

I'm sure you've heard about the controversial comments musician John Mayer made to PLAYBOY magazine regarding him dating outside of his race. If not, scroll down and see for yourself. Were they insensitive? In bad taste? Politically incorrect? Sure! He has since apologized for his comments. Were they sincere? Perhaps. I believe so. But does that apology come as part of a strategy to keep from losing his fans? Of course! However, what is quite interesting is that some of these hip hop artists and rappers say in reference to Black women. For example, Kanye West was quoted as saying that “If it wasn’t for race mixing, there would be no video girls. Me and most of my friends like mutts a lot…yeah in the hood they call them mutts.” – Essence, 2006. As if the only video girls that exist are of mixed race or mulatto. Second, Yung Berg said, “I’m kinda racist…I don’t like dark butts…You know how some women prefer light skin men or dark skin men. It’s rare that I do dark butts – that’s what I call dark skinned women. Like really rare! It’s like, no darker than me. I love the pool test. If you can be like 'Yo, baby. I met you in the club. Let’s go back to my house and jump in the pool exactly like you are.' And you don’t come looking better wet than you were before you got in the pool then that’s not a good look. Any girls that use brown gel to lay down her baby hair is not poppin” – Lip Service Radio 2008.

Honestly speaking, I rather a person make it plain and tell me THEIR truth. This way, I know where they stand and decide how I choose to deal with them, if at all. Your personal preference, even if it sounds like it's coming from a monkey's ass, is your business. I could care less who John Mayer or anyone else chooses to date. My only concern is whom I CHOOSE to date.

Is it time to update your list of what you want in a mate?

Single? What are you looking for? Maybe it's time to revise your list...

OLD

Handsome & a great body!

Must be tall so I can wear my heels.

He has to be a good listener.

Good credit.

Successful.

Great lover.

Terrific sense of humor.

Shared values & beliefs.

NEW

I want to be very attracted to him.

I want to feel feminine & safe in his arms.

I want to feel heard & understood.

Responsible.

I want to be proud of him socially & privately.

Attentive, patient, imaginative & sexual.

Someone who can laugh.

Someone who gets me.

Cyn City’s Straight Talk

I would like to start this segment talking about self-confidence. First, it is important to know what self-confidence is. Self-confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. I would like to say that I feel as though I am self-confident, but when I step into a club the first thing I do is head to the bar. I am a strong woman but I am also shy at times, especially when I am meeting new people for the first time. After my first drink I start to feel comfortable. By the second drink, I can dance my ass off and talk to whomever I want. I know I’m not the only person who feels, or does that. By the end of the night I am unstoppable. But I have to wonder, is it me talking confidently and dancing wonderfully or is it the drinks. Well for the next few articles I am going to talk about people living life through a false sense of self-confidence from alcohol and drugs. Stay tuned!

If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to contact me at cynthiachpl@aol.com.

GRAMMY Highligthts 2010

The Grammys were pretty cool last night. Interesting performances by Beyonce, Pink, Lady Gaga and so many others. Cute acceptance speeches like Beyonce thanking her hubby Jay Z: "Thank you to my husband. I love you." Plus the red carpet style was anything but boring. Congrats to the Grammy winners!

Another Black Miss America! Caressa Cameron wins the crown as Miss America 2010. Plus, Jay-Z talks to Sweden’s premiere rap magazine Kingsize on his un-perfect marriage to Beyonce. Here's peek at the interview:

You’ve just turned 40 years old, do you have any plans for starting a family soon? You and Beyonce talk about that?

Jay-Z: “I’d like to be a dad some day and I love children. You start your life with expectations and dreams, then life unfolds and it doesn’t always turn out the way you imagined. Life is what it is. And at this point it’s up to somebody else.

Do you consider your and Beyonce’s marriage as role model for a perfect marriage?

Jay-Z: “I don’t think there is such thing as a perfect relationship. It is unrealistic and hoping for too much. I don’t think it is worth all that pressure. We also have our struggles and problems.”

Relationships are never easy...I'm just saying!

Hot Chick Chic!

Singer Melanie Fiona of the hit single, "It Kills Me" is quite pretty in warm makeup hues - bronzer, eyeshadow & lipgloss with sexy black lashes.

Be inspired! Check out MAC, Chanel & Sephora for warm color tones.

Hot Chick Taraji P. Henson has one of the hottest manes in Hollywood.

The 5 Hot Chick Hair Commandments

Basic hair rules from NYC hairstylist Rod Horton:

THOU SHALL NOT...

1)...DO YOUR OWN CHEMICAL SERVICES AT  HOME!
You can never see your full head for proper application and you always risk over processing and damaging your hair.

2)...CUT YOUR OWN HAIR!
For the similar facts of chemical services, you can't see your full head nor achieve the right angle for a precision cut.

3)...LEAVE IN BRAIDS, WIGS OR EXTENSIONS  MORE THAN 8-10 WEEKS!
Over extending wearing braids and extensions can weaken the hair and cause breakage and also risk locking and/or tangling of the new growth.

4)...HOT CURL OR FLAT IRON YOUR HAIR DAILY!
Too much heat can dry your hair and cause split ends and breakage.

5)...GREASE OR OIL YOUR SCALP!
Unless you have an extremely dry scalp, adding grease or oil to the scalp will weight your hair down, attract elements from the air, and cause your sebaceous glands to not produce it's own natural oils for your hair and scalp.

Fab!

MICHAEL Michael Kors Astor Tote $348, www.nordstroms.com

Part of late screen goddess Dorothy Dandridge's was her lush lashes!

5 Best Mascaras for Hot Chicks!

Makeup artist Tekoa Hash gives us her top picks for sexy, flirty lashes. Psst...they really work!

Dior Show - Couture mascara that curves your lashes to perfection!  $24 retail.  www.sephora.com

Maybelline Great Lash - Be feminine & frugal with Great Lash! $6. 

MAC Fiber Rich - Grips the lashes from the root to the tip, while building eye lash muscle. $13.  www.maccosmetics.com

Cover Girl Lash Blast - Brush is designed to lengthen and thicken all lash types. Goes on smooth and even with no flaking. $7. (My www.drugstore.com

Lancome Definicils Mascara - Definicils shapes & separates your lashes with ease. $24.50. Available at department stores.

Hot Chick Chic!

Jennifer Lopez is working this mini dress, clutch & heels!

Be inspired! Check out Bebe, Forever 21, Neiman Marcus, Macys for similar finds.

My hair is thinning and I'm not sure what to do. My hair is relaxed and I do not wear weaves.

If your hair is relaxed and thinning starts to occur, first try to increase the time between your touch-ups. Thinning is a sign of hair being over-processed. Products like Doo Gro Mega Thick Anti-Thinning Growth Treatment, is designed specifically to promote thick, strong and healthy hair. For more serious cases of thinning, Alter Ego or Nexxus Emergencee serum drops will provide immediate restoration of your hair's natural proteins and vitamins, which coats the hair cuticle to structurally reinforce hair growth.

For more hair advice & product recommendations, email Sassy Styles Beauty Supply at SassyStylesNY@hotmail.com or call 212-234-8846. If you have a beauty question, email us at info@prettythoughtsofahotchick.com

Help me please! I have dark spots on my face that were left over from pimples I had. How can I get rid of them? I am a Black woman of a medium brown complexion?

Since African American skin tend to blemish easily, cocoa butter and exfoliation products with glycolic or
citrus acid will help diminish dark spots. Black Opal, Ambi & Neutrogena offer good fade creams that can help remove those pesky marks and reveal a radiant complexion.

For more hair advice & product recommendations, email Sassy Styles Beauty Supply at SassyStylesNY@hotmail.com or call 212-234-8846. If you have a beauty question, email us at info@prettythoughtsofahotchick.com

I've always loved the lip looks of Halle Berry, Oprah, Kim Kardashian, Tyra Banks & Jennifer Lopez. How can I get my lips to look as lush as theirs? What lip glosses can you recommend?

I have the perfect answer for spectacular lip appeal - shimmer and plump girls! Lip gloss that shimmers gives off an illusion of art that naturally draws the attention of people. Second, a plumping lip gloss gives the appearance of fuller, more defined lips. With these strategies, your lips can't go wrong. Some suggestions to try are Bobby Brown Lip Gloss Collection for a Jennifer Lopez-like pout; Nars Twist Delights for a Kim Kardashian look; Revlon & Kiehls Lip Balm for Halle Berry-like lips; and Cover Girl Queen Collection as well as Sephora for a Tyra Banks & Oprah-like pucker.

For more hair advice & product recommendations, email Sassy Styles Beauty Supply at SassyStylesNY@hotmail.com or call 212-234-8846

Help! My hair seems to be weak from wearing weaves? Can you recommend anything?
First suggestion is to try and stay away from a bonded weave (glue in). A sewn-in weave is more gentle to the hair because your hair is braided underneath. If you switch your hair style as frequently as I do, and just can't stay away from a bonded weave, have your stylist bond on a weave cap. Therefore your hair will not be completely affected by the glue. In the mean time, treat your hair with the Aphrogee hair treatment line. Use their protein 2-Step Shampoo to feed your hair with the important nutrients that's missing in your hair. (Protein should only be used one time a month.) Purchase their regular shampoo for damage hair for your 2-3 week maintenance wash. Follow up with their Keratin 2 Minute Reconstructor to help restore
strength and softness to the damaged hair. Remember the things you put in your body comes out so stay healthy and live happy. Your hair will love you for it.

For more hair advice & product recommendations, email Sassy Styles Beauty Supply at SassyStylesNY@hotmail.com or call 212-234-8846

HOT SPOTS

in New York City:

Mojo (185 St. Nicholas Avenue, NYC, 212-280-1924, www.mojo-harlem.com). Exotic, sexy & seductive! Harlem's new must hangout lounge. Food & drinks are yummy. Love the Ham Sliders!

Empire Hotel - Rooftop (44 West 63rd St. @Broadway). Perfect afterwork hangout. Great view of New York City!

Talay (701 West 135th St, NYC, 212-491-8300, www.talayrestaurant.com). Thai-Latin cuisine and incredibly sexy! Sultry lounge & restaurant.

Covo (701 West 135th St, NYC, 212-234-9573, www.covony.com). Trattoria E Pizzeria. Sexy lounge & good restaurant!

Cafe Noir (32 Grand St, NYC, 212-431-7910, www.cafenoir.com). A sultry joint that'll remind you of of a little island retreat!

67 Orange Street (2082 Frederick Douglass Blvd, NYC, 212-662-2030). This sexy new lounge in Harlem is a great spot to mix and mingle! My favorite cocktails: Sexy Bison & Raspberry Truffle…Yummy!!!

Tillmans Bar & Lounge (165 west 26th Street, NYC 10001, 212-627-8320, www.tillmansnyc.com). Cool vibe. Beautiful people. Great music. Favorite dessert: Tillmans Toasted Strawberry Shortcake!

Philipe (33 East 60th Street, NYC 10022 (212) 644-8885, www.philipechow.com) - A favorite of some of your favorite celebrities, this sultry Asian restaurant is one of the best! Our favorite dishes include: Chicken Satay, an Crispy Salmon and Chef Chow's Lettuce Wraps.

BAR 89 (89 Mercer Street, NYC 10012 (212) 274-0989) - Perfect spot for catching a solo after-work drink or as a weekend hang-out spot with friends. Make sure you order a plate of their tasty buffalo wings while you’re there.

RED BAMBOO (140 W. 4th Street, NYC 10014 (212- 260-1212) – In the mood for something healthy? Red Bamboo serves a healthy portion of delicious vegan foods and organic drinks that will have you feeling guilt- free for seconds.

SPUR TREE (176 Orchard Street, NYC 10002 (212) 477-9977) - Feeling Irie? This lounge is reminiscent of an intimate island hut somewhere along the Caribbean coast. Weekends are best if you’re looking to mingle, but make sure to get there early. This place gets packed quickly!

THE RIVER ROOM (Riverside Drive at 145th Street, Harlem 10031 (212) 491-1500) - If you’re looking for ambiance, look no further. The River Room offers spectacular views of the Hudson River with wall-to-ceiling glass windows, and an outside patio that is perfect during the summer month. Located inside the Riverbank State Park, this spot offers valet parking if interested and live jazz on certain nights. Make sure to call ahead for the schedule.

SEA (114 N. 6th Street, Brooklyn 11211 (718) 384-8850) - This restaurant/bar is definitely worth the trip to Williamsburg. Posing as a trendy “date spot” and the perfect place to lounge around with friends, you can’t go wrong. Sea also offers a variety of Thai appetizers and drinks under $10. If you can’t make it to Brooklyn, check out their smaller restaurant in Manhattan.

HOT TV SHOWS:

1. HawthoRNe (TNT) - "Love it! The show is a cross between Scrubs, Grey's Anatomy & ER. Jada Pinkett Smith is on top of her game!"

2. The Mentalist (CBS) - "I am addicted to this show! The storylines are great. It truly keeps you guessing and the star, Simon Baker is hot!

3. Run's House (MTV) - "Too cute!"

4. Chelsea Lately (E) - "This chick is a too funny!"

5. The View (ABC) - "The Hot Chicks of Daytime TV is always on point with the hot topics!"

6. Dark Blue (TNT) - "Sexy cast & a hot storyline!"

7. True Blood (HBO) - "Sexy!"

8. Cougar Town (ABC) - "Wicked fun!"

9. Nip/Tuck (FX) - "HOT!!!"

10. The Wendy Williams Show (FOX, UPN & BET) - "The Hot Chick of gossip! She is a fun HOT mess!"

11. The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo) - "Love this show! A delicious guilty pleasure.!"

12. Keeping Up With The Kardashians! (E!) - Love these Hot Chicks!

Why don't you...

...pray earnestly and sincerely from your heart and really see the experience as a communion of your soul with whatever deity you worship. Ask for confidence, strength, wisdom, discernment, guidance, protection, focus and drive. Then step out on faith, knowing that God will see you through.

...come to terms with your past. Everyone has done things they aren’t proud of. Forgive yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes. Understand that even mistakes can build your character for the better. You can’t unscramble eggs, so you may as well eat them and enjoy them.

...tell yourself every day that you’re sexy, confident, smart, vibrant, blessed and that you’ve got it going on!

...tell another Hot Chick that she looks great!

...slip into a sexy dress and admire yourself!

7 tips for the sexiest you!

“Let your hair play up your best facial features. For example, if you have great eyes, opt for shorter bangs; if you have a cute nose, try a side, diagonal part. (Remember to part hair on the side that’s the fullest to maximize sex appeal!)
–Hairstylist Tina Pearson, www.tinapearsonsalon.com

- "No wheat, gluten and a dairy-free diet! There is no quicker weight loss and maintenance program and it does wonders for the skin!" – Margo Drucker, model & actress

- “Whenever I’m eating yams, my skin for some reason looks really beautiful.”  - Malinda Williams, film and TV actress

- You can take years off of your look, just by keeping things simple.

- "I pop a Vitamin E soft gel pill and apply the liquid to a dark spot or blemish to help fade the spot. The vitamin is nourishing to my skin in its pure form." - Rachel, NYC

“[Lip] Gloss is a must!” - Kimora Lee Simmons, businesswoman & author

Sexy starts with how I feel about me. Enjoying myself, my life, and being content with who I am.

5 Tips to Revive Your Sex Life!

So you're having a drought or you're just plain bored. Honey, it doesn't have to be! Dig this here...

1. Do It Yourself! Yes, I said it and...! There is no reason why you shouldn't be pleasuring yourself from time to time, regardless if you're in a relationship or not. That's one of the Hot Chick secrets on maintaining our hotness - knowing pleasure to give pleasure. Hell, I'm getting a little warm just thinking about it...be right back!

2. Variety is the spice of life! Speaking of which...now that I'm back from taking care of me...(LOL!)...Switch it up. Be spontaneous. Take a trip to the ladies room with your little friend, like the Bullet (for those of you that don't know, adult toy.) Watch a porn video or read an erotic book and repeat what you see. Try a new location. Buy some naughty lingerie. Request to be gently spanked. Try a new position. Cast your inhibitions to the wind.

3. Keep It Pretty! You should get turned on just by looking at yourself....being comfortable in your own skin. So take care of yourself and maintain your pretty inside and out. Remember, you're happiness begins and ends with your thoughts followed by your actions.

Although you love him/her, do you love you more?

Although at times we pretend to our family and friends that we no longer care about a certain person, privately we still yearn for them. Some of you will visit their FaceBook page as a way to keep in touch, many of you will continuely dream of a past once shared while you're dating someone new and others will secretly allow him/her into your thoughts and eventually into your bed hoping for a chance. But, where does that ultimately leave you?

Love is blind & what feels good isn't always right for me...

If all that you do is think about a particular person and you repeatedly ignore his/her blatant signs of not wanting to be with you such as not calling you or calling only when he/she wants something (i.e., sex or money), standing you up repeatedly with a flimsy excuse, or just treating you like crap under the guise that you are lucky to have a prize like them and will not do any better, why won't you leave them alone and move on?

Simply put, the best revenge is not allowing your love for a person diminish your dignity.

"If I do not think for myself, someone else will do the thinking for me."

Why do we accept what people tell us, instead of asking questions? Do we simply go along to get along?

The other day a friend told me that a New York City school told her that her then 6-year old had A.D.D (Attention Deficit Disorder) and that he should take a certain medication. She told them "no" and demanded for him to be tested to check his reading & writing level. However, when the tests came back, the school told her that he had a "learning disability" and again prescribed medication. She again said "no" and demanded that they find another solution like extra attention, extra homework, etc. She even said she would spend time tutoring him. A few months later, when my friend re-located to a Southern state, she told her son's new school that her son may need tutoring because he might have a learning disability but asked if they could test him first. Come to find out, her son was not only "fine" but performing a little above his grade level. Now, imagine if she had allowed that NYC school to give her son a mind-altering drug? How would that have effected him, especially in the long-run?

Beauties, I know that sometimes we think that someone else may know what's best for our situation based on their credentials or simply our trust in a certain system, organization or person. Ultimately, the responsiblity lies with us to inquire and research. Remember, asking questions, demanding additional information and wondering why things are the way they are, is the only way to protect yourself and your family from unnecessary stress or worse...harm.

Sex, Secrets & Lies!

I'm sure you dolls have already heard or read about married former North Carolina senator & Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards finally admitting what we already knew - that he is the daddy of Frances Quinn - the two-year old daughter of Rielle Hunter, a campaign videographer with whom he had an affair!

Here's what trips me out! If you know what you're doing is wrong, why leave evidence? Some of you may not like that nor what is coming next, but you'll be alright. If you are going to cheat, protect yourself. Fellas, don't squirt on a woman's dress, like our beloved "I never had sexual relations with that woman"ex-president Bill Clinton, leave text messages like Tiger Woods, Shaquille O'Neal or disgraced ex-mayor of Detroit Kwame Kilpatrick or impregnate your jumpoff like John Edwards. Ladies, the same rule applies except, don't get pregnant if you got a man.

Now before some of you start running off at the mouth, I am not in any way advocating cheating. I'm just saying that if you are going to do it, have some sense to reduce your chances of getting caught where you don't have to deny it when folks know good and damn well you're lying. Remember the cover-up is often worse than the crime.

Do you know what good sex is? Are you having it?

The other day, a male friend of mine confided that he was bored in his relationship. He said that when it came to sex, his girlfriend just took off her clothes and got in bed. No foreplay, sexy lingerie, nothing. Then when they did have sex, it was just him on top, her rubbing his back and that's it. When I asked about oral sex, he said, "She thinks she knows, but she doesn't know. She just does what she thinks pleases me." Wow! Next, I asked, if tried talking to her. He said he did, but she just dismissed him and told him that, "you just take too long to cum." WTF!

Darlings, never assume you know what a person likes sexually. Everybody is dfferent. Think of it like this. Everyone's body is like an instrument and you have to stroke the right keys for it to play sweet music. No inhibitions. No fears. No assumptions. Just an open mind and able body.

So if you have to ask yourself, "Do they satisfy you?" Then I guess the answer is, you're not having good sex. And if not now, when?

When you feel like you want to give up...

Once in awhile when it seems a bit much for me to deal with like running my business, having a personal life, being strong, keeping my sexy and maintaining my pretty thoughts, I have a moment or two where I wonder, "If I can really do it all..."

But right when those thoughts enter my mind, I smile and say, "Hell yeah! Keep your faith and take your time, because negative thoughts kill ambition. And doubts zap your confidence!" So, when I saw this photo of Kelly Rowland. I chuckled and thought, "Exactly!"

Hey, the best revenge is...Whatever you wish to accomplish affirm persistently and comcentrate all your power on securing it and when your mind is positive enough you will create what you wish. Remember, we can become a magnet and draw to us what we desire.

Believe in your power & beauty!

Love this! My cousin sent this to me and I'm passing it on to you!

Are you a Grown Woman or Still A Girl?

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it - using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e., don't want him
hanging with his friends).
Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends.

Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their
affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends.

Jump-offs, mistresses, affairs...oh my!

I'm so tired of hearing about chicks coming forward admitting their affairs with high profile men. And yes, I'm equally tired of men creeping on their girlfriends or wives and flaunting it like they have it like that. We all know about the "indiscretions" of Tiger Woods and now NBA center, Shaquille O'Neal's alleged sex mates are kissing and telling. Vanessa Lopez, is even gone as far as accusing O'Neal of harassing her with "unwanted calls and telling an associate to 'shut dat bitch up' when she threatened to go to his wife if he didn't stop," according to her attorney Gloria Allred. Ms. Allred also says that, "Ms. Lopez knew that he was married, but he told her that he had an open marriage and that he remained married for his image and for his children..." Here's the million dollar question I have, 'If you knew he was married, why get involved?" Now, from a former cheater herself, I can tell you that those passionate flings often end up more of a headache than whatever it is you're going through at home. But more importantly ladies, at what point will we stick together and say "no" to the "attached men" because we don't want to see another woman hurt? I'm just saying...

Vaginal Therapy?!

I'm still smiling from a call I got last night from my childhood buddy who always has me in stitches with her antics. She forever gets herself into one thing or another. Then, like good girlfriends do, we find the humor and laugh our butts off...

Friend: "Hey girl."

Me: "Hey Baby. What's up?"

F: "Girl, my poo poo is in therapy."

M: "What?!"

F: "My Vagina is in therapy!"

M: (LOL!) "Is it sick...depressed? Did it swallow too much? Was its intake too much to handle? Or is it sad that it hasn't gotten any?" LOL!

F: (LOL!) "I'm a kill you. No. My doctor said it's a little out of shape so I have to squeeze my vaginal muscles 4 times a day and see a therapist once a week."

M: (LOL!) "Maybe she should go to the gym with me..." (LOL!)

F: (LOL!) "'Licia! I'm serious!"

M: "Hell, me too! I could get her a tiny dumb bell and a personal trainer then she can squeeze 'em both 20 times. LOL!"

F: (LOL!) "That could work! My therapist did say she needs strength."

Rihanna & Matt just friends?!

According to a statement from Matt's agent Dave Stewart, "They [Rihanna & Matt] are just good friends, and I don’t think we can label it as anything other than friendship right now..." So friends act like this? Yeah right...friends with benefits! LOL! By the way, check out these lyrics from Ri's new single, "Rude Boy": “Come here rude boy, boy / Can you get it up? / Come here rude boy, boy / Is you big enough? / Take it, take it / Love me, love me.” Interesting. Wonder if she was thinking this when they first got together? Just saying...

When the sex is bad, what do you do?

Can you believe that twice in one week, I get asked by two women what to do about their men who have a little...huh...shall we say...sexual difficulty. First, a young lady told me that the first time she and her new boyfriend had sex, he pumped real hard for a few minutes then ejaculated. Leaving her wondering...WTF! Then, the other day a friend of mine told me that her lover is horrible at oral sex, but brags that he's the "candy licker". Both women were frustrated (to say the least, I'm just saying...) and the men, baffled. What are these women to do? Both want to keep their men, but just want them to be better lovers. Now, why did they have to ask me? Hell, I was thinking, "caught your losses". There is no reason to be dissatisfied when it comes to pleasure. But after hearing how much they cared about these guys, I simply gave it to them straight and if it hurt their feelings, they'll be alright. (Hey, the older you get, the less patience you have nor time to waste. LOL!) So I said, "If you truly love this dude, tell him how you feel. Explain to him what turns you on and how you like to be stroked, kissed, licked, sucked, etc. Then, ask him what he likes, so that he feels like you care about his needs. If he shows no interest and only cares about his pleasure and/or tries to tell you it's your fault, you're just not enjoying it. Then boosts that there's nothing wrong with his skills. Get rid of him fast!"

Simply put, if the sex is bad, it will not matter how much you care about that person. Because, if they can't make the effort, then what does that say about how much they care about you?

It's time to move on when...

Ok, so it's a new year and you're still in a funk. Life just hasn't gone the way you wanted nor according to plan. So what are you gonna do about it? Sulk? Be bitter? Remain sad? Angry? Hey, when life throws you a meatball, ya just got to make it a sandwich. And if don't like or want meat, toss it out and do something else. (Ok, the meatball metaphor may have been a bit of a stretch, but you get the picture. LOL!) Bottonline, it's time to snap out of it and move on when...

...you keep playing the same sad song!

..you don't want to do anything, see anyone or go anywhere.

...you're snapping at your family, friends, mate and strangers.

...you keep talking about the situation to everybody!

...you drink alcohol only to help ease the pain.

...you cry yourself to sleep every night.

...you're not sleeping.

...you're complaining about everything.

Hey, you're life is not determined by what happens to you, it is the attitude you bring to life. So, take a deep breath and slip on your confidence and step into your hotness one pretty thought at a time!

Why do people sh*t where they eat?

Hope you guys are having a wonderful start to the new year. Mine started at Madison Square Garden at a Mariah Carey concert in NYC and let me tell you...it was fab! But Honey, why the very next day I hear some craziness about 2 NBA players playing cowboys and Indians or better yet wanna be gangsters, pulling guns out on each other..in their team locker room no less...over a $25,000 gambling debt! WTF! Why on God's green earth would you sh*t where you eat? Hell, if you're gonna confront somebody at least have the good sense to do so away from your job. Good grief!

Then, I'm sure ya'll heard of music producer Teddy Riley in a heated confrontation with his 18 year old daughter and her older sister?! What the hell? Why would a man fight his daughters? Why would young ladies fight their father? Now, some of you may get a little twisted with what I'm getting ready to say, but you'll be alright. Anywho...many of these teenagers today have just entirely too much mouth and think they could say or do whatever they want. NOT! Regardless of how the situation unraveled, one thing is true and constant, as long as you are under your parent's roof, you abide by their rules. So if you don't like his new girlfriend or your mother's new boyfriend, leave. If you think you're grown and want to set the rules, get the hell out and get you're own place. Parents, if your teen or grown-ass daughter or son think that they can disrespect you as they live off your money. Politely show them the door and tell them to "get the stepping"! What is there to argue about?!

Hey, you may get bruised, but you're never broken...

Lawd, lawd...2009 was an interesting year! For some, it's been much pain and drama, others uneventful, and the start of something wonderful for many. Honey, I can relate. 2006 & 2007 were...excuse my french...bitches for me. In 2008, I experienced self-discovery, redemption, freedom, forgiveness and hope. But 2009, brought a renewed spirit, a restored strength and a new love. Plus, I finally got to say good-bye to two old ghosts that were 2 of my biggest disappointments yet some of my best lessons learned...one, never let any obstacle or people get in the way of fulfilling your dreams. Two, love yourself enough to know when to let go. Three, other folk's opinions have no real lasting impact except for the value you place on it. Four, to listen well you must discern between your truth and the truth being told to you, because your truth is not everyone's reality. Five, you may get bruised but you're never broken. Hey, life is much too precious to waste your time and beauty.

So, after the collapse of my once fab magazine JOLIE and a couple of partnerships...I'm still standing...or better yet...still I rise...just a little taller. LOL!

Why can't men just be honest? Why do they have to lie about everything? Why do we believe it?

A friend of mine posed these questions to me the other day and at first, I could not answer her. Something came over me. I just could not speak. Later that evening, I thought about my own experiences and how they shaped my view on men and relationships. Sure I've known men to not be truthful about one thing or another. But, I've also know men who will tell it like it is regardless of how one may feel. Then again, I know a few men who won't necessarily lie, they'll just leave out certain details. LOL! What I've learned though is that the truth changes its sound depending on who's hearing it and who's singing it. For example, a young lady told me that this guy she really likes and wants an exclusive relationship with, said to her that he wants to be with her but asked her to have sex with him and another girl. She responded by telling him, "if I can have sex with you and another man". He told her, "if that's what you want...cool." This was not the response she wanted to hear and thought, "well at least he said he wants to be with me." Another woman fools around with and loves a guy that did not tell her that he lived with his girlfriend and her child. So why do some men lie? Other than some wanting to have their cake and eat it to, perhaps its because we seem to ignore the truth. Think about it. How honest are you with yourself? Are your eyes wide open or are your eyes wide shut? Do you hear what you want to hear? Did you dismiss the signs? Why do we fall in love with the lies? We all have at one time or another. And yes, sometimes you just get blindsided. But hey, a person will tell on themselves if you're truly paying attention. Remember, the best revenge is learning to listen without your emotions and without your desires because then you won't fall for the beautiful lie.

Foods that'll increase your sex drive!

Sex gives you a glow & a smile which lights up your hotness! I'm just saying! So, check out the foods to help increase you & your man's libido! Eat up!

- Salmon are packed with Omega 3, which increases blood flow around the body and to the genitals and is vital for fighting impotence.

- Oysters are loaded with zinc, so oysters may help you increase sexual desire.

- Celery can be a fantastic source food for sexual stimulation. It contains androsterone, an odorless hormone released through male perspiration and turns women on.

- Bananas contain the bromelain enzyme, which is believed to increase libido and reverse impotence in men. Also, they are good sources of potassium and B vitamins like riboflavin, which increase the body's overall energy levels.

- Avocados contain vitamin B6 (a nutrient that increases male hormone production) and potassium (which helps regulate a woman's thyroid gland), two elements that help increase libido in both men and women.

- Almonds are a prime source of essential fatty acids. They provide the raw material for a man's healthy production of hormones. Additionally, the smell of almonds is purported to arouse passion in females.

- Eggs are high in vitamins B6 and B5. These help balance hormone levels and fight stress, two things that are crucial to a healthy libido. Some people will eat raw chicken eggs just prior to sex to increase libido and maximize energy levels.

- Figs are high in amino acids, which are believed to increase libido. They can also improve sexual stamina.

- Garlic contains allicin, an ingredient that increases blood flow to the sexual organs.

How much do you trust your mate in this age of text messaging? How much can you be trusted?

Did you hear on "The Today Show" that one of Tiger Woods mistresses Cori Rist asked Tiger one night when they were together, "Who are you texting?" Damn, this whole Tiger sex saga has sparked some interesting topic discussions. One, he responded with his mistresses primarly through texting. Kind of reminds me of another married man scandal involving, former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick who was caught with steamy text messages to his married mistress, his former chief of staff, Christine Beatty. It begs the question: How much do you trust your mate in this age of text messaging? How much can you be trusted? Or better yet, as one of my FaceBook friends posed, "If your mate had your phone for a day, would you be together by the end of the night?" As a pondered this question, it made me think back to an old relationship where my ex-beau would go through my phone & laptop looking for any hint of infidelity. The crazy thing was that some of the messages he found, although innocent, seemed to fuel his wicked perception of me as a "cheater". Funny thing was, fed up with his constant snooping and repeated accusations, I checked his voicemail as he was returning from a little cruise and found a rather amorous-sounding message from a "female friend" who was also on the same cruise. Anywho, as the saying goes, if your mate is accusing you of something and constantly going through your things, he/she is doing the exact thing they're accusing you of doing and/or has the evil LSE (low self-esteem). So if that's the case honey or if you're simply unhappy and feel the need to give in to temptation, please learn from Tiger, Kwame and countless others - do not text! Emails and texts can be tracked. Voicemail codes can be cracked. I'm just saying! LOL! But seriously, have the respect for yourself and your mate and think before you act. Because..."Without intergrity, there is no love; without trust, there is no peace; and without confidence, there is no beauty."

"I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves," pro golfer Tiger Woods said in a statement on his official Web site regarding recent allegations of infidelity. "I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone."

What transgressions do you have?

In light of this Tiger Woods sex saga, people have been quick to offer their judgements and opinions as to why he cheated on his wife. I've heard things like, "He's just being a man," He was bored with wifey"...blah, blah, blah. But the truth of the matter is unless you've walked in that person's shoes what could you possibly relate to or can you? I know that I cheated in past relationships for different reasons. One, because I was not satisfied sexually, I felt that I was being taken for granted, I sought validation of my sexiness through men and I welcomed a "distraction" to simply not deal with a relationship that I no longer wanted. So, I understand Tiger's "transgressions". Hopefully in time he and others like him will learn more more about themselves and utilize that knowledge to become the best person that they can be. By the way, you don't have to get caught to begin healing. Best of luck to Tiger and his family as well as anyone who is going through a similar situation.

For tips on forgiveness, healing & letting go, check my book, The Pretty Thoughts of a Hot Chick: Foxy Little Notions for Our Minds, Bodies & Souls available at: www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com

When you stop looking, you start living.

Recently a gentleman asked me, ‘What are you looking for?’ And although the question was simple, I found it pretty interesting. You see, once upon a time, I’d seek out people or things to give me what I thought I did not have. Or, I’d secretly looked for a particular type of individual to fulfill my desires. Of course I was never truly happy because in the back of my mind I either wondered, “When will the other shoe drop?” or “Why can’t they give me what I need?” But a funny thing happened after I slowly started to rise after a few bumps and bruises. I realized through my self-inflicted cloudiness and haze of disappointments that people do according to their understanding, and I finally understood that no one is responsible for my happiness except me.

So as I looked up into that handsome stranger’s soul-searching dark eyes, I responded with a smile, “Absolutely nothing.”

Hey, the best revenge after any let down, defeat, frustration or heartache is living without any expectations or fears. So...

"Dance as though no one is watching you, love as though you have never hurt before, sing as though no one can hear you, and live as though heaven is on earth." - Souza

Cheers, to letting every moment count!

If you and/or your mate is stressed and/or biting folk's heads off, perhaps you and he need a little sexual healing. Hey, you deserve it. Sex can transform your mind, body & soul. Trust me. So...

Why don't you...

...turn off your phone, put on some of your favorite sexy slow grooves, close your eyes and literally do you.

...after he settles himself when he gets home from work, offer him a massage and leave no area on his body untouched. Then, take his maleness into your mouth and pleasure the hell out of it.

......watch a porn video. Then allow your hands and fingers to travel to your pleasure zones.

...visit your lover in nothing but a coat, seductive perfume and heels. Then, once inside, put the wall against your face, pull your coat up to your waist and tell him, "Come and get it.I want you now."

...every Hot Chick should have at least 1 toy. Go to bed a little earlier than usual and climax with it as many times as you wish.

...play the helpless role in bed and make your man feel that he's having his way.

Hot Chick Halle Berry nourishes her hotness and it shows!

6 Little Things Every Hot Chick Should Know!

Part of what makes a woman HOT, is paying attention to the little things. Take a peek at the following:

1.Prolonged eye contact and a smile adds to your Hot Chick mystique!

2. Leafy dark greens help skin be smooth and radiant. So eat at least one mixed green or spinach salad a day to help keep complexion clear.

3. Proper fitting undergarments are essential! Spanx (available at Macys), it's less expensive sister Accents (available at Target) and Body Magic (www.getbodymagiconline.com) can make you appear a few pounds smaller and makes your shape look better.

4. Sexy heels are not complete without Dr. Scholls's For Her High Heel Insoles, For Her Comfort Soles or Sole Expressions Insoles.

5. With a bit of nip/tuck, a great tailor can transform a jacket, dress, shirt, pants and skirt into a thing of beauty that fits you like a glove.

6. "The best color in the whole world is the one that looks good on you." - Coco Chanel

Love Thandie Newton's soft eye makeup with a lush red lips!

5 Red Hot Lip Colors That'll Enhance Your Sexiness!

Tis the season for a little crimson love and the perfect red shade is essential for us Hot Chicks. So to provide the best tints, fabulous makeup artist Tekoa Hash (www.tekoahash.com), gives us some of the best yummy red hues!

"Inspired by the hues of red that adorn the fall atmosphere, and in anticipation for a festive holiday season," explains Tekoa. "Here are 5 of my favorite red lip colors that are sure to make heads turn!":

1. Kat Von D. Painted Love Lipstick - Designed by famed tattoo artist Kat Von D, this blood red lipstick will enhance your lips as well as your desired ensemble.  Packaging that is stenciled with silver roses to bring out the inner bad girl in each one of us. $18, www.sephora.com

2. Mac Cosmetics Viva Glam 1 - Glam up your sultry lips, with a MAC favorite. Stays on like a true matte finish, all while nourishing your lips. Plus! Get into the holiday spirit, by giving back. All proceeds goes to the MAC Aids Foundation, helping men, women, and children living with HIV and Aids. $14, www.maccosmetics.com

3. Bobbi Brown Cosmetics Raisin Berry - For the woman who is looking for a subtle red lip color, this red brown lipstick is sure to make you feel comfortable and confident. Perfect for the winter months, raisin berry is soft and creamy and is enriched with shea butter and skin conditioners. $22, www.bobbibrowncosmetics.com

4. Revlon Top Tomato 12 Hour Color Stay - For the budget savvy Hot Chick, Revlon's lip color is a true red, sure to withstand your longest day. Top Tomato has a soft satin finish, with built-in conditioning top coat. $7-$12 at drug stores.

5. MAC Cosmetics Russian Red Lipglass - Vivid and intense, you can where it alone, or as a top coat over your desired lip color. Lipglass contains jojoba oil to protect our lips from the harshest conditions. $14, www.maccosmetics.com

Kat Von D. Painted Love Lipstick

Victoria's Secret model Selita Eubanks

This Pretty Hot Chick definitely got the must have beauty memo!

6 Pretty Hot Chick Must Haves!

1. Beautiful lashes: Maybelline New Great Lash Big, (www.maybelline.com). A Hot Chick cannot flirt effectively without them!

2. Sultry eyes: Benefit BADgal Eyeliner Pencil, $18 (www.sephora.com). A look can say many things…the rest is up to you!

3. Fresh peepers: Per-fekt Beauty Eye Perfection Gel, $45 (www.sephora.com). One must have something to disguise the evidence of a long, eventful night.

4. A goddess glow: MAC Mineralize Skin Finish in Gold Deposit. (www.maccosmetics.com). A luminous complexion leads to a seductive smile from a handsome stranger.

5. Luscious lips: Sephora Fresh Gloss, $7(www.sephora.com). Not only leaves a great shine, but has a yummy minty scent.

6. A sexy scent: IDOLE d'Armani $62 or Lancome's Hypnose Senses $59. A captivating fragrance is a hot chick signature!

Hot Chick Chic!

Halle Berry is AMAZING in this black mini dress & over-the-knee boots!

Be inspired! Age ain't nothing but a number when it comes to hotness! So do you! Remember, hotness is a state of mind...and a killer pair of boots is the perfect prop to showcase your brand of beauty!

Love the short hair cut & earrings!

Halle Berry on Jay Leno.

6 Beauty Must-Haves!

1. Red Nails - Simply put, there is something so incredibly sexy about crimson fingertips! Lovin' Essie's After Sex, Jag-u-are and Wicked!

2. Sleep - Yeah I know, sometimes you just don't have enough time. But baby, there is a reason it's called "beauty sleep". While you're getting your z's, your skin is renewing itself and it's the perfect time to use products with vitamin A-based retinol or retinods as well as glycolic and salicylic-based treatment products due to your skin's cellular turnover increasing at night, making it more receptive to the radiant benefits of said ingredients.

3. Straight Tresses - Philip B. Drop Dead Straightening Balm (available at Rickys (rickys.com & beauty supply stores) is the Bentley of hair straightening! I do not care how curly, coarse or whatever you want to define the texture of your crowning glory, but this stuff got my strands silky smooth without the help of a chemical relaxer. I'm just sayin...!

4. Youth Booster - An apple, leafy greens, cherry and onion a day may keep old age at bay. Quercetin, found in these foods, is a powerful antioxidant and anti-inflammatory. Great for the complexion!

5. Lush Lashes - Lancome's Definicils High Definition & Oscillation mascaras are my absolute favorites! Also, just tried Rimmel's Glam 'Eyes Lash Flirt mascara and it's really good.

6. Bad Breath Cures - In addition to brushing and flossing at least twice a day, I found that gargling morning and night with a little hydrogen peroxide as well as eating an apple a day and having some parsley or peppermint after each meal will help keep breath fresh.

Live Pretty!

Alicia Marie Rivers

How to think like a Hot Chick!

Hot chicks are not born, they're created. They nurture their special brand of hotness and do not allow negativity, low self-esteem and someone's opinion take up valuable space in their minds. So, if you want to increase your desirability and/or you yearn for something better or different, start with what you think - which leads to your action then becomes your lifestyle. Now Honey, commit to memory the 9 Beliefs of a Hot Chick:

1. My beauty is a conscious choice and a daily practice.
2. I may get bruised, but I’m never broken!
3. Style is how I speak to the world.
4. I have the power to manifest my desires through pretty thoughts, visualization, dedication, persistence and intention!
5. I live in the moment and appreciate the journey.
6. Great sex starts with me.
7. A good cry is essential, but a smile is an every day rule!
8. I am never afraid to find the humor in my mistakes and embarrassing moments.
9. Sex appeal is more than physical attractiveness. It is my body language - how I feel, speak, walk, sit, stand, gesture and move.

Remember...You are who you think you are!

Live Pretty!

*Excerpt from book The Pretty Thoughts of a Hot Chick: Foxy Little Notions for our Minds, Bodies & Souls!

For info on sex appeal/self-esteem coaching call 800-915-6320 or email alicia@prettythoughtsofahotchick.com.

How to be hotter than everyone else!

1. Think Pretty. For example, it doesn’t matter if you're larger or smaller than most girls, light or dark skinned, different hair texture, etc.You don't have to look like everyone else to be beautiful. Remember, you are who you think you are!

2. Add a sexy color to you lips. According to color experts, the ultra feminine pink hue increases heart rate, deep purple causes an intense feeling and red stimulates one's imagination. Use these shades to your advantage and up our hotness.

3. Always smell good. 'Nough said!

4.Show what is good about your body. Hotness doesn't equal skinny and owning a "hot" body isn't the same thing as being sexy. Learn to play with your assets and work it! Wear only what looks good on you! HOT Tip: Undergarments like Spanx and Body Magic can enhance your shape to Hot Chick proportions!

5. Legendary fashion designer Coco Chanel once said, "A dress should do most of its work from the back." Just as a woman should have a striking entrance, her exit should leave a mesmerizing lasting impression. So whether its pants, jeans, skirt or dress, a fantastic fit with great posture is key. Never leave your house without checking the back of your clothing and head. Now, keep your shoulders back, breasts out, walk with a bit of a strut and sway those hips!

6. Smile! It not only makes you look confident, but you'll appear more approachable. It puts people at ease and will ultimately make you feel at ease. So don't worry. Uncertainty and fear tends to have an aura. Be joyful.

7. Be Beauty! Strive to look your best every day! Brand yourself as a Hot Chick with hair (regardless if it's short, mid-length or long; straight, wavy or nappy; weaved, relaxed or natural), lush & stylish, (keep those edges fab, including at the nape of your neck get TIGI's BedHead Cool Stick), well groomed eyebrows & nails, soft & smooth skin (coconut oil or shea butter is perfect to keep body luscious) and bright, clean teeth.

8. Dance. Try salsa, ballroom, pole or belly dancing.You'll gain confidence and you will move more gracefully and sexily without even thinking about it.

When to unleash your bad ass chick!

Warning: This is for sexy bitches only! LOL!

There are times a little naughtiness is totally called for, such as...

When...

...it's just one of them days when folks are tap dancing on your last nerve.

...someone reaches over or cuts in front of you without an "excuse me" or apology.

...a man compliments your particular body part and you seductively caress it, looking him dead in his eyes and say, "Thank you Darling."

...being nice gets no results.

...you skip the panties because you just want to get to "doing the damn thing!"

...you must tell a little lie. So you confidently surround it in truth so it sounds more believeable.

...you masterbate right in front of him after he said he's "tired", "busy" or "not in the mood".

Detox the Mess & Get Your Pretty On!
Whether it’s surviving the economy, losing a job, break-ups or dealing with family/friendship or career stress, it can take a wretched toll on our spirit and beauty…if we allow it. Hey, life is not determined by what happens to us but by the attitude we bring to life. Here are a few tips & thoughts to revive your state of being:

1. Think “me.” Turn off your Blackberry! At least once a day, preferably before bedtime, create a peaceful moment where you can be alone and take time to breathe deeply, meditate, pray, or just sit quietly. This allows you to clear your mind and bring closure to the events of the day. Best of all, it prepares you for a restful night’s sleep without any worry. So take a long, slow inhale and think of the things to release from your mind’s space. When you exhale, see those items coming out of your mind and spirit in that breath as you truly let go. Pretty Thought: When I am focused it is impossible to throw me off my course.

2. Let it rain. We all must release some tears to help us shed the layers that prevent us from growing in every aspect of life. Learn the value in the storms that test you. Don’t be afraid to weep. A silent cry never hurt anyone. It simply cleanses your spirit and helps you move on. It can be an empowering experience if you let it.Pretty Thought: A good cry is essential, but a smile is an every day rule!

3. Purge your mind. Free yourself of past hurts, worries and disappointments. Write down your thoughts and feelings about everything that happened to you. Read it over, one last time then shred it! This allows you to cleanse your mind and bring final closure to a situation without causing additional conflict or further negative thoughts. Pretty Thought: I am no longer imprisoned by past disappointments and hurt.

4. Create a remedy that is the complete opposite of your doubts. Choose an affirmation that reflects something you want to achieve. Phrase the affirmation as if you are already achieving it. For example, “I am losing weight.” Repeat it often throughout the day. Pretty Thought: No one can ever come between me and my happiness except me.

5. Embrace the Naked Truth. Focus on your positives! Loving what you see, sans clothing and makeup, is one of the most powerful lessons to be learned. Pretty Thought: Of all the things to wear to enhance my beauty, confidence is the most striking!

Me Time!

Sometimes we lose ourselves in the chaos of work, home and family. Allow yourself to escape, if only for a few moments with these pretty ideas!

1. A Pretty Thought
“Smile. It attracts a lot more than a frown.

2. Vanity Mirror
Fluff Silver Shoe Mirror Compact. Every pretty hot chick should have this adorable item in her bag. If only to remind her of our “girlie” side! On sale! $9, (www.fluffshop.com)

3. Pillow Talk
Neero & Ana Satin Hydration Therapy. Simplify your nighttime routine with Neero & Ana’s Satin Hydration Therapy pillow case in, what else, Pink! You will love the luxury of sleeping on satin…your hair and skin will thank you in the morning! www.neero-ana.com

4. A Feline Treat
Honeycat Chocolate Bath Melts. Make bath time a decadent experience! Honeycat Chocolate Bath Melts are the cat’s meow, offering up the elixir of chocolate without the guilt! Just drop one in the tub for the purrrfect bath time treat! $16,  www.honeycatcosmetics.com

5. Kissable Lips
Kissable Couture in Dylan. Have you ever kissed Dylan? Me neither, but Kissable Couture in Dylan turns will transform you into an instant flirt! This alluring pink-berry shade is the perfect tool to spice up your pout! $22, www.kissablecouture.com

6. Pretty Advice
 “One of the most destructive things you can do in any relationship is let your FEARS take over and start causing you to say and do things that push people away. And most women fail to realize it when their own fears are "running the show".

Live Pretty!

How to get your sexy back!

Girl, we've all had those moments where we didn't feel particularly good due to one thing or another. Or, we've said, "the hell with it!" when we stop trying to get that perfect curl, hide that bothersome pimple, get into those fabulous jeans or find the most flattering outfit. Dig this here! I've slipped out of my stylish stilettos as I'm writing this. Girl, my pedicured footsies need a rest. They hurt! You know what I'm saying?! Hey, it is what it is! Anywho, the first thing we need to do in order to feel sexy again is to re-focus and "think" of ourselves as sexy, despite our circumstances. Remember, we are who we think we are! So forget that you slept an extra five minutes this morning, because you were too tired or cold to get out of bed; your beloved child and/or husband is tap dancing on your last nerve. Or, that you have an overwhelming pile of stuff to do at work and a few bills that are on your ass like the hungry hounds of hell. Honey, this is no way to feel sexy, especially with sore feet...I'm just saying! Let's reclaim our sexy and get it back! Here's how!

1. Turn your cell off & kick everyone out of your space for at least an hour. Grab some scented candles and music and make your environment sexy. Start with a relaxing bath and tell yourself everything you like about you as you run your bath water. Add some bubbles and/or bath salts and a couple drops of vanilla, sandalwood or lavender essential oils. Pour yourself a TALL glass of water. This will keep you hydrated as your spa-like water will dehydrate you. Plus, it's good for your skin and organs. Sometimes all you need is peace and quiet and a ice cold glass of water to start the sexy.

2. Read a book! Simply put, reading gives you new experiences and pushes out old thoughts and stimulate new ones. The Pretty Thoughts of A Hot Chick: Foxy Little Notions for Our Minds, Bodies & Souls, is the perfect pick-me-up or friendly reminder for you at just the right moment when your feeling less than stellar and a pretty thought or two is just what you need to get your swagger off of vacation!

3. Find the humor in the situation or a friend who can. I've said this before and I'll say it again and beyond my grave, laughter is life's best medicine! And as I've learned through my heartaches, disappointments & pain...this too shall pass. Remember, our life is not determined by what happens to us, but by the attitude we bring to our lives.

So be sure to love yourself and take the time to take care of yourself because when you radiate that genuine good feeling from within all the outside "goodies" are just a bonus! Besides, feeling good is the key to attractiveness. Now what are you waiting for? I've slipped into a cute pair of flats, winked at my stilettos, placed then in my tote and am headed out into the jungle with a big smile on my face...thinking, "I cannot wait to slip into a bubblebath!"

Get Your Pretty On!

6 easy & safe steps to detox & maintain your pretty!

Give your body some much needed R&R from the summer cocktails, barbeques and such with the following tips:

1.) Select a week to slow down and remove yourself from some of the bustle of your everyday life, and find a simple cleansing plan. I love Health Direct's Sculpt n' Cleanse Colon Cleansing Formula, which you can get at any heath food store, GNC or The Vitamin Shop. Start by eliminating things in your kitchen that don’t really support your health, i.e., bread, pasta, cookies, candy, cakes, pies, alcohol, soda, fried foods. And add lots of greens (collards, spinach, bok choy) that you can use in salads and those that you can steam or cook until tender. These pack an immense amount of vitamins, minerals, chlorophyll, and fiber. Try dandelion greens or arugula in your next salad. Steam some collards, kale, or chard.  You can flavor these simply with garlic, apple cider vinegar or lemon and olive oil.

2.) Focus on fiber. As you know, fiber helps keep things moving out of your body, and it is one of the most missing components of our modern, highly-processed diet. You will want to consume a great deal more fiber than usual this week. Some sources should include vegetables, fruit, whole grains, flax seeds or flax seed meal, and perhaps a fiber supplement. Try one which does not have added sweeteners or coloring, like FiberSmart by Renew Life, but there are a number of options on the market. You should be eating fiber-rich foods at all three meals of the day.

3.) Chew your food. Every bite. Yes, meals will take longer, but you’ll be surprised at the new flavors you experience and the amount of food it actually takes for you to feel satisfied. In the beginning it may help to count the number of times you chew each bite. Start by chewing at least 15 times before swallowing. This will do miraculous things for your digestion.

4.) Stay hydrated. Flush out toxins by drinking at least 8-10 glasses of water every day. You should not be consuming alcohol, caffeine, or sugary drinks (no diet sweeteners either). For a little flavor, add some lemons or cucumbers to your glass of water.

5.) Growing into new grains. Whole grain of course. Grains are a great source of B vitamins, mood-stabilizing minerals like selenium and tryptophan, and also fiber. Skip wheat flour (whether it is white or “whole wheat”) as many people are sensitive to this. Make amaranth, brown rice, quinoa, kasha, and/or millet. All of these grains can be found in your local health food store.

Now Hotties, after a week or so, you'll start seeing inches disappear from your waist-line and your complexion will glow! But, try it for a month with some form of exercise for greater results.

For more info visit: http://www.laughingsagewellness.com

Foods to reduce stress!

Stress can wreck havoc on our hotness. So don't let it throw a monkey wrench in your beauty game, honey! Fight back with pretty thoughts, laughter and these delicious treats:

1. Fruits, vegetables and other plant-based foods.

2. Fish (salmon, halibut, trout) several times a week.

3. Olive, flaxseed & safflower oils.

4. Wine (but in moderation, like a glass or two)

6. Comples carbs like organic oatmeal, brown rice, brown pasta.

7. Walnuts

8. Dark chocolate

Here's a sample of my daily meal plan that helps keep me stress-free:

Morning - organic oatmeal with flaxseeds, blackberries & strawberries

Lunch - spinach or spring mix salad with olive oil, flaxseeds, walnuts, eggs (sometimes), salmon or chicken

Dinner - salad, bok choy or broccoli, salmon/halibut with olive oil, sweet potatoes and a glass of red or white wine.

Snacks between meals - a little piece of dark chocolate, fruit, organic natural popcorn

How to make the most of what you have!

1. Focus on your positives. Don't sell yourself short because you are not perfect. You are hot despite whatever perceived imperfections! Remember, losing your fears and inhibitions requires loving yourself completely and stretching out of your comfort zone in order to be a Pretty Hot Chick!

2. Be Pretty! Never leave your house without mascara, lipgloss, fragrance, cute hairstyle or hat, great-fitting clothes, adorable shoes and of course pretty thoughts!

3. Speak 2 languages: Body & English! Legendary actress & singer Eartha Kitt once said, "Don't move because you want to go from this point to that point, the body has to be using the words as well as you vocally use the words." Hey a hot chick's middle name is sensuality!

Eartha Kitt - the eternal hot chick!

Pretty is as pretty does…

I was not always so sure of my beauty. Many moons ago, I would give too much power to the notion that a beautiful, sexy woman can’t have flaws…that she had to fit a certain make, model or mode. But one day, after yet another crying fit over what I did not have, or a new pimple or two, I realized after seeing my reflection through tear-stained eyes that I was whatever I chose to be. You see, beauty is an aesthetic comprehension, which is purely subjective. It is an idea…most notably a belief…of being a woman who knows who she is and how she chooses to be pretty to the world. Just because you’re not thin, don’t have a big butt, certain facial features, big boobs, small boobs, long hair, a particular hair texture, perfect skin or you’re a little older than the rest, doesn’t mean that you can’t be just as hot as the next woman. Hey, beauty is like ice cream—there are many delicious flavors enjoying their rightful place on this smorgasbord of prettiness. So why not embrace your particular brand of allure? You’ve got to believe it in order to achieve it honey, and if you do, others will follow. So, go ahead and carry yourself like a beautiful woman. Remember, how the world responds to you is up to you! It is by your thoughts, hand and command!

Believe in Your Beauty!

The notion, “If I lost 10 more pounds then I would be…” or “I hate my…” must stop immediately because what you focus on the most becomes your reality. For example, if you only think and complain about how much you hate what you believe to be a certain flaw then you will attract people who will see your perceived flaw. But, if you keep your mouth closed and your thoughts focused on your terrific attributes, then your insecurities will diminish and you as well as others will see your beauty.

Remember Hotties, you are who you think you are! Beauty is a state of mind. Live it. Breathe it. Perception is reality. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you are the most important observer. Hey, if you believe it you will achieve it.

3 Tips to Step up Your Pretty!

1. Take notes from HOT women you admire: Whether it's Beyonce's killer heels or lengthy tresses, Halle Berry's chic shades, adorable pixie cut or classic fashion sense, or Rihanna's bold glam rock image, take a few fashion & beauty cues and incorporate into your own style.

2. Add statement jewelry:  A few standout pieces can turn jeans and a tee shirt...heck any outfit into a striking ensemble. Halle is one of the queens of using great accessories (i.e. rings, bracelets, earrings, necklaces, etc) to enhance her look.

3. Put your best Pretty Hot Chick forward: Believe in your beauty! Some of the most desirable women may not be amazingly gorgeous but they have oodles of confidence and wear what makes them look and feel fabulush! 

Hey, it's the power of the pretty. So accentuate your assets and strut!

You are who you think you are. Live Pretty!

5 Notions That'll Enhance Your Hotness Right Now!

1. Choose then act. Make up in your mind to believe in yourself.

2. Think "pretty". Whatever you desire, think of that and never swerve from it. If you want prosperity, think prosperity never poverty or of being broke. If you want to be desirable, think of yourself as such: "I am a Hot Chick!" Act as if you are, dress as though you are! Remember you become who/what you think you are.

3. Make the best of yourself. Pay attention to detail when it comes to your appearance. You know, the little things like fit, scuffs on shoes, lint, chipped nail polish, dry lips, untidy hairline and nape of neck, deodorant marks, dandruff, wrinkles on clothes, food between teeth, etc.

4. An alluring woman exercises self-control. Don't show any weaknesses by losing your temper. Start your day or evening with, "No matter what happens, I am going to remain calm, cool & collected and not lose my temper."

5. Just be. Be brave, courageous, fearless. Be afraid of nothing! Just do!

3 tips on increasing your sex appeal!

Discover your true self. Feeling comfortable in your own skin is in figuring out who you truly are and working with what you have. Look at how you really live your life and and what you stand for. Then, consider how you dress and style your hair. Think about what makes you feel comfortable - what makes you feel good! These are the things that tell you who you really are.

Being confident. You are who you think you are! Improving your sex appeal isn't about how others see you. More importantly, it's improving how you view your own sex appeal and getting yourself to a place where you feel sexy whether others see it or not. It's about gaining confidence in your own opinion of yourself and realizing your own self worth.

Just Be. What you wear speaks a lot for who you are. Dress for the image you want to project. What image do you want to show the world?

Tips on Stepping Up Your Sex Appeal!

Hey, sex appeal is not just about looking & smelling good. It's about how you feel about...YOU! Yesterday, I mentioned 3 things that'll increase your hotness: feeling comfortable in your own skin, knowing your self worth & dressing for the image you want to project. So today...

Why not...

...relax. No self bashing! I know. I know. It's easy if you think that you have no real proof that you're sexy. But just because you think it's easy, doesn't mean you should give in to it.

...learn from mistakes. Unfortunately there are some things that happen in life that crush our confidence. One of course is rejection. Hey, there will always be someone or something that can cause you to feel like the least sexy thing. But, when this happens, remind yourself that it's temporary. Believe me, this too shall pass. Just give yourself some time, think about what led to the bad experience, learn from it, and move the hell on!

...find your smile. Let your joy loose! Do things that make you feel alive. This will not only make you happier, it will improve your self-confidence and make you feel sexy. So find a something that ignites your passion; that makes you smile.

Remember being a knockout is not about the way I look. It is the way I am.

A Hot Chick's Way to Foreplay!

Hey, I will not divulge all of my secrets but one thing is certain. There is only one rule of foreplay: Take care of your partner first because good foreplay is when one gets great pleasure out of pleasing his/her lover. So check out 3 of my favorite things to do to my lover!

1. So you know how to kiss...but not like this! Trace the tip of your finger or tongue around edges of your lover's mouth.They'll experience a tingly almost ticklish sensation. But don't lick around entire mouth. Just kiss as you normally would then trace upper or lower lip, kiss again, then trace lower or upper lip.This will trigger thoughts of what you can do to his private parts!

2. Touch me, tease me. There is a bountiful of sensual nerve endings awaiting your touch on the back of neck, inner thighs, that sexy dip where neck meets chest, sides of torso & lower back. So use your fingers, lips and tongue to slowly caress & nibble from chin down to that little indentation that connects neck with the collarbone; up and down back of neck then across shoulder; just underneath rib cage and down to the hip bone; then starting from mid-inner thigh to the top.The reaction will be a favorable one!

3. Give a long, slow, relaxing foot massage.Use a sensual-smelling massage oil and massage the sole of the foot in a slow, circular motion. Next, use your nose, tongue and fingers and explore the toes, the ball of the foot, the heels and the top of the foot. Caressing the ankles, massaging the arches, kissing the soles & sucking the toes can send your partner into total bliss!

Confessions of a Hot Chick!

Slip into sexiness every time you want with a few of my pleasure principles:

1. Allow your thoughts to be your guide. Your most important sex organ is your brain. It’s not always our physical assets that leads us to feel hot and tingly. Nor should it only be the touch and/or words of a lover. Your mind plays a very important role. So relax and think pretty, sexy thoughts to put you in the mood.

2. Feel & look good. Sensuality begins with your attitude. If you feel sexy, you are sexy! First, always visualize yourself as a very desirable woman. Next, treat your body to a massage and/or a body scrub, get your hair done, indulge in a manicure and pedicure, slip into your favorite fragrance and sexy lingerie. Then, lay on beautiful silk, satin or Egyptian cotton linens of 300 or better thread count sheets as you enjoy the hypnotic rhythms of your favorite tunes. Remember, you are only as hot as you think you are and a pretty hot chick takes care of her mind, body and spirit.

3. Embrace your sexuality. Know what turns you on! Routinely touch yourself. Caress every inch of your being as you reach a euphoric high. Honey, your body was made to have orgasms! So enjoy the exploration. Hey next to diamonds, imagination, fingers & adult toys can be a girl’s best friend!

For more tips, get the book, The Pretty Thoughts of a Hot Chick: Foxy Little Notions for Our Minds Bodies & Souls. Available now at:www.barnesandnoble.com, www.amazon.com or www.target.com

Oral Pleasure

3 quick tips to stimulate his head, pun intended!

Use your voice. Men enjoy a little dirty talk, especially if your tone is low but clear, seductive & charming. But if you're not comfortable with it, try slipping sexy hints about what you'd like to do to him over the phone or text. Your sexually suggestive talk will have him thirsting for you.

Add some bubbles. Greet him in nothing but a mini robe, red or black stilettos and a kiss. Have a glass of Champagne (or any carbonated drink) in hand and offer him a sip. The bubbly can help give oral pleasure a bit of extra fizz! So take a mouthful of your chosen liquid, then carefully take him in your mouth without spilling it all. The bubbles fizzing against his jewels will drive him crazy!

Be fresh. Mints are good for adding a bit of extra tingle. Put a mint in the side of you mouth while your giving him oral stimulation for a whole new sensation!