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'Tis the moment to sip a little wine and share some of the craziest crap women have experienced...like this one:
Be careful who you let in your home.
Girl, my vibrator is missing! I know this may not be a big deal to some of you, but it is MAJOR for me. One, I love my toy and the joy it provides me. Two, nothing in my house should ever creep out. Now, where I think it is is the funny part. My belief is this dude I allowed to stay with me (without any financial contribution except his intention to pay) for the past 2 months slipped it out of my place without my permission. Ain't that a trip?! LOL! Why do I think he did it?! Hell, it's not where I put it! Any other questions?! Oh! Why would he take it?! To use!!! LMAO! On who?! Him, whatever chick, his dog, who cares! The fact remains, my buddy is gone! Woo-woo! And for those of you who think I misplaced it, let me break it down. A Pretty Hot Chick does not lose nor misplace her kitty's best friend! LOL! So the moral to my story is I finally got my PhD (paid too high for the d*@k) from Screw U University! I'm just saying!
Where has the use of seductive language in our music gone?
Earlier my mom and I were discussing how music has lost the art of seducing the listener. With its in-your-face declarations of what he/she could do instead of smooth suggestions and a few playful tongue-in-cheek mentions, many lyrics today lack the sensuality that truly makes a Pretty Hot Chick weak in her knees. Consider this. Think of a slow dance. The seduction starts at a glance, then glides to simple movements that hint at a sexy possibility. Now this is what your mind perceives from a song with just a few choice words and clever phrasing. Oh my goodness, how I miss Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On", The Whispers' "In the Mood" or "Do They Turn You On", The O'Jays "Let Me Touch You", Luther Vandross "If Only For One Night", Freddie Jackson's "Love Me Down", Johnny Gill's "There You Go", Intro's "Come Inside" among others. Now it seems as if songs are providing a quick release than a lasting memorable treasure.
So what's a woman in need of new listening pleasures? I guess continue to hear the oldies but goodies on select radio stations as well as groove to my Pandora or YouTube.com.
Slip into sexiness every time you want with a few of my pleasure principles:
1. Allow your thoughts to be your guide. Your most important sex organ is your brain. It’s not always our physical assets that leads us to feel hot and tingly. Nor should it only be the touch and/or words of a lover. Your mind plays a very important role. So relax and think pretty, sexy thoughts to put you in the mood.
2. Feel & look good. Sensuality begins with your attitude. If you feel sexy, you are sexy! First, always visualize yourself as a very desirable woman. Next, treat your body to a massage and/or a body scrub, get your hair done, indulge in a manicure and pedicure, slip into your favorite fragrance and sexy lingerie. Then, lay on beautiful silk, satin or Egyptian cotton linens of 300 or better thread count sheets as you enjoy the hypnotic rhythms of your favorite tunes. Remember, you are only as hot as you think you are and a Pretty Hot Chick takes care of her mind, body and spirit!
3. Embrace your sexuality. Know what turns you on! Caress every inch of your being as you reach a euphoric high. Honey, your body was made to have orgasms! So enjoy the exploration. Hey next to diamonds, imagination, fingers & adult toys can be a girl’s best friend!
For more tips, get the book, The Pretty Thoughts of a Hot Chick: Foxy Little Notions for Our Minds Bodies & Souls. Available now at:www.barnesandnoble.com, www.amazon.com or www.target.com
It's ok...
...wake it up feeling horny then risk being late to satisfy your urge.
...to want someone to assure you that 35 (damn it 40 or 50!) is STILL young. LOL!
...to crave an alcoholic beverage early in the afternoon.
...to feel inspired by just looking at someone.
...to do everything in your bed...eat, sleep, play...
...to still be attracted to your ex.
Is he good boyfriend/husband material for you?
Have you consistently ended up with men who didn't see or bring out the best in you? Do you seem to unknowingly attract "unavailable" men? If you answered yes to one or both questions then honey take a deep breath and dig this!
As many of you know, I'm an advocate of the notion, "You are who you think you are." So if this is true, (which I obviously believe it is), then doll, your thoughts and feelings as well as your past are attracting the wrong men and you're staying in relationships for the wrong reasons - like financial stability, good sex, for the sake of your children, or simply the fear of being alone. Am I warm yet?! Right! Every now and then, we lose our way as people often do. But the most important thing we could do for ourselves is to believe in our worth, be the best we can, stay true to who we are and say "No" to hurtful behaviors from mates/lovers or when we feel its not right instead of the "I think I can work with this." Hey at the end of the day, it's the little things that mean so much to me. So if a man misses that, then he's not for me. LOL! Now what about you? Let's get rid of the doubts that have occupied your mental space for a bit too long. Break out that shell! We only get one life and this is the time to chose to be happy...unapologetically. I'm just saying!
Why do we put so much thought into things?
Oftentimes we get so caught up in our emotions that we miss the beauty of the moment. For example, a friend of mine has been seeing a certain guy for a couple of weeks and instead of enjoying him, she's constantly thinking about her feelings and what his could or may not be. Honey, this is such a waste of time and energy! First, yes you like him and he likes you! So what?! He does all the things you want to feel inside of each passionate, tender kiss. Okay?! And this is a pause for alarm? Why?! Baby, just have fun. Take it day by day. Keep smiling. Stop allowing any silly notions cloud your mind, heart & spirit. You have no idea what the future holds and it might not include him. But for now and only for now, exhale. Because believe it or not, people come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime - and you have no idea which he represents. So slow down. There's no harm in feeling someone who's giving you the sweetest thing you've ever known...the soft caress of life's gentleness.
How to regain your financial independence!
Just got laid off from your job? Broke up with your mate who was helping you foot the bills? Are you struggling to make ends meet while striving to look good in the process? Honey, 6 lessons I've learned after walking away from a rich boyfriend is...
1. Never rely on anyone and don't allow yourself to get caught up with the cash and gifts. More often than not, the financial support is a way to control you and keep you dependent.
2. A second or part-time job can be quite helpful in getting your money back on track. So don't complain hottie! Keep your eyes on the prize.
3. Save your spare change. You'd be surprised how much money can accumulate just from coins.
5. Create a budget AND stick to it! Instead of spending $700 or more on Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo or Christian Louboutin shoes, opt for the still cute but less expensive alternatives like Steve Madden, Aldo, Boutique 9, BCBGeneration, etc.
6. Put aside at least $5 every time you get money from whatever resource and call it your "me, myself & I loot"!
Am I the victim or the villain?
Recently, I learned that the person who said they loved me and claimed to be my greatest champion hurt me yet again. Not only did I endure months of verbal and emotional abuse, constant accusations, stalking my Twitter & FaceBook pages, following me, monitoring my emails as well as calls to and from my cell and home phone - he made a copy of my house keys without my knowledge and consent and entered my home. Unfortunately or fortunately (depending on how you look at it) he was surprised to find that he was not alone. My friend was resting. Funny thing is when I went to police, one detective painted me as some femme fatale. Wow! My ex broke the law and it's my fault! Damn! Regardless of who or the circumstances as to why another man was in my place is not relevant, My ex violated me! And this was not the first time. According to his telephone admission (while he was demanding to know who the guy in my home was), he said he entered my home many times without my knowledge. Now I admit, I was not an angel in that relationship. I lied. I cheated. And although he said he forgave me, as we attempted to move on from my indiscretions, he would not forget nor allow me to. I guess one can conclude that I made him insecure or at least heavily influenced his low self-esteem. But the reality is, no one can make you one way or another unless you allow it. So, am I the victim or the villain? Neither. I'm just me.
3 Tips to Revive Your Sex Life !
So you're having a drought or you're just plain bored. Honey, it doesn't have to be! Dig this here...
1. D.I.Y. - Do It Yourself! Yes, I said it and...! There is no reason why you shouldn't be pleasuring yourself from time to time, regardless if you're in a relationship or not. That's one of the Pretty Hot Chick secrets to maintaining our hotness - knowing pleasure to give pleasure. Hell, I'm getting a little warm just thinking about it...be right back!
2. Variety is the spice of life! Speaking of which...now that I'm back from taking care of me...(LOL!)...Switch it up. Be spontaneous! Take a trip to the ladies room with your little friend, like the Bullet (for those of you that don't know, adult toy) and have a pleasurable moment. Or better yet, invite your lover out to dinner and motion him to the men's room to watch you tease yourself for a few minutes. After witnessing your little scene, he won't be to contain his excitement to get you home to finish the job! You could also, watch a porn video or snuggle up to an erotic book and repeat what you read. Or buy some naughty lingerie, slip it on and request to your lover that you want to be spanked, tied up or hand cuffed. Honey, cast your inhibitions to the wind!
3. Keep It Pretty Hot! You should first get turned on just by looking at yourself. Hey being comfortable in your own skin is essential in awakening that sex appeal Pretty Hot Chicks exude when enticing their prey. LOL! So take care of yourself and maintain your pretty inside and out. Remember, you're happiness begins and ends with your thoughts followed by your actions.
Remember This...
Oftentimes life slips us an obstacle or two that knocks the wind out of us. Then, out of nowhere, a person you love tries to stomp out whatever light is left. When this happens, take a deep breathe, scream or shout, but remember this...
1. Any words, attitudes or actions used against me will not prosper and strangle my joy.
2. I am true to me first and honor my mind, body & soul. Self-preservation is the key to peace of mind.
3. Perception can be a dangerous weapon because it is a reality for most. Fortunately, what is someone else's belief is NOT often your or the truth.
Why not...
...relax. No self-bashing! I know. It's easy to doubt yourself if you feel you have no real proof that you're sexy. But remember, you are who you think you are, so exercise the power of your thoughts and create the notions that lead to actions of a Pretty Hot Chick.
...learn from mistakes. Unfortunately there are some things that happen in life that crush our confidence. One of course is rejection. Hey, there will always be someone or something that can cause you to feel like the least sexy thing. But, when this happens, remind yourself that it's temporary. Believe me, this too shall pass. Just give yourself some time, think about what led to the bad experience, learn from it, and move the hell on!
...find your smile. Let your joy loose! Do things that make you feel alive. This will not only make you happier, it will improve your self-confidence and make you feel sexy. So find a something that ignites your passion; that makes you smile.
Let's just kiss and say goodbye...
"Blame it on me. Say its my fault...Say I'm a liar, I'm a cheat, say anything that you want as long as its over."
I'm not a quitter. I guess I'm just not the type to walk, wear nor sleep with misery. I tried to see it through - thinking I can handle the chaos, tolerate the pain. Funny thing is, eventually one gets to a point where enough is enough. You see, I had an epiphany - took me a moment but today I saw clearer than I've seen in months. Hell I thought I figured this sh*t out! LOL! But damn it, I wasn't right. I compromised my spiritual sight. Some things are more important than trying to love someone who doesn't love themselves. So I refuse to again turn the other cheek or fight when someone who says they "love me" raises an angry hand or word when they speak. I once truly believed my heart, mind, body & spirit could protect me from the verbal attacks, instead it left me bruised almost broken. Interesting how I'd often think of the notion, "Love conquers all." Yeah...only if one's heart is open. But if negativity, doubt, fear and misogynistic tendencies are your regular bed partners, then there is no room for me. Hell, freedom is where I want to be, because I can no longer allow you to do this to me. Sometimes we have to walk away from someone or things we love or step outside our comfort zone to save our most treasured jewel...ourselves.
It's time to move on when...
Ok, so it's a new year and you're still in a funk. Life just hasn't gone the way you wanted nor according to plan. So what are you gonna do about it? Sulk? Be bitter? Remain sad? Angry? Hey, when life throws you a meatball, ya just got to make it a sandwich. And if don't like or want meat, toss it out and do something else. (Ok, the meatball metaphor may have been a bit of a stretch, but you get the picture. LOL!) Bottomline, it's time to snap out of it and move on when...
...you keep playing the same sad song!
..you don't want to do anything, see anyone or go anywhere.
...you're snapping at your family, friends, mate and strangers.
...you keep talking about a certain situation to everybody!
...you drink alcohol only to help ease the pain.
...you cry yourself to sleep every night.
...you're not sleeping.
...you're complaining about everything.
Hey, you're life is not determined by what happens to you, it is the attitude you bring to life. So, take a deep breath and slip on your confidence and step into your hotness one pretty thought at a time!
Why we can't let go...
I've asked that question many times and whether its a certain person, habit, pain, sadness, regret or depression, the answer remains the same...love. Now let's look at that powerful four-letter word, shall we. Love is defined as (1) a feeling; (2) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties; (3) warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion; (4) unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another; (5) attraction based on sexual desire. With that being said, is it the "love" we can't let go of or the way we believe that "love" makes us feel? Think about how content you become with a person, place, mental space or thing because of what you think it fulfills in or feeds you. For example, you love a man who is married and you feel you can't walk away because of his sexual prowess and how desirable that makes you feel as well as your fear of being alone. Hmmmm...Funny how we give power to certain individuals and things in the name of our happiness or dare I say "love". The most interesting notion, however, is a certain loss of freedom (like free from emotional confinement, bondage or openess) that happens when our desires outweigh what we perceive as "love". Hey, maybe its just me, but I firmly believe that once we claim self-love, only then can we "love" enough to let go and welcome the beautiful possibilities.
8 things You Do Not Have to Apologize For!
1. Giving yourself a compliment! There is absolutely nothing wrong with expressing how HOT you are! It's called "the Fabulush Thoughts of a Pretty Hot Chick!".
2. If you and your friend do not find the same guy attractive. Hey, we don't have to all share the same taste in men, clothes, shoes or food. I'm just saying!
3. When you want to pay for just what you ate. If you only ordered french fries, why the hell should you have to split a big bill that includes drinks you did not have?!
4. When you hate the hair 'do and/or color your stylist gave you. Just because they love it, doesn't mean you have to. It's your money and YOU have to wear it!
5. When you don't text, instant message or Tweet back right away. We do have things to do like work, meditate/pray, shower, eat, have sex, etc!
6. Masturbating after sex in front of him. Hey, he exploded, why shouldn't you?
7. Giving your opinion. If you can't handle what I may say, then don't ask me what I think.
8. Living your life your way. You should never be forced to live by someone else's standards. So do not be afraid to be yourself.
6 Little Things Every Pretty Hot Chick Knows!
Part of what makes a woman HOT, is paying attention to the little things...
1. Maintaining eye contact and a smile adds to your Pretty Hot Chick mystique!
2. Dark, leafy greens help keep skin smooth and radiant because of the vitamin A in it as well as being a powerful antioxidant that helps repair and renew your skin to give it a youthful glow. So eat at least one spinach salad a day to help keep your complexion looking pretty.
3. Proper fitting undergarments are essential! Spanx (available at Macys), it's less expensive sister Accents (available at Target) and Body Magic (www.getbodymagiconline.com) can enhance your curves.
4. Sexy heels are not complete without Dr. Scholl's For Her High Heel Insoles, For Her Comfort Soles or Sole Expressions Insoles.
5. With a bit of nip/tuck, a great tailor can transform a jacket, dress, shirt, pants and skirt into a thing of beauty that fits you like a glove.
6. Hair, clothes, shoes, cosmetics, nail polish: "The best color in the whole world is the one that looks good on you." - Coco Chanel
"What you are speaks so loud, I cannot hear the words you say."
Last year, I had a dream that one of my business idols, Jay Z told me that, "a person's appeal lies not only with their mind and appearance but also their mouth." Funny how this advice still haunts me today - especially after a few conversations with a certain male and two females who seemed a bit...shall I say...beyond passionate about old grievances with their mates. Simply put, each of them sounded so vicious toward their mates, but then followed up their tirade with, "I love him", "I love her", "I respect him" or "I respect her". Hmmm...interesting contradiction right?! Hey, we've all had a negative experience or two with people and Lord knows it's not the first nor the last time. But, do we have to carry the memory of past hurt and disappointments in our voices? One of the strongest messages and biggest clues to what we really feel and who we truly are is not in just what we say, but how we say it.
7 Reasons Why People Fail at Love & Relationships!
Are you in yet another relationship that no longer works or have just exited one and you're saying to yourself, "I've been here before?". Or perhaps you're wondering, "Why am I single?". For some folks, love seems a pleasant routine, while for others an ever elusive dream. Why? First, people do according to their understanding - which is largely if not totally based on one's social and economic conditioning. With that said, if your definition or understanding of love differs from your mate's, then you'll constantly be at odds and therefore complaining about what your mate is not doing to show you the type of "love" you want. Now, check out 6 other reasons why people are failing at love and relationships:
2. Not loving oneself. When a person does not have self-love, they project their misery on their mates and use them to validate their sense of self-worth or beauty. This is dangerous because when those evil low self-esteem moments rears its ugly head and a person's mate does not do what he/she thinks they should for them to feel womanly, manly, desirable, etc., they will lash out and make the person the culprit or main source of their discontentment.
3. Too high expectations. There are times folks want and try to push you to abide by their "rules" on how someone should love a person and how a relationship should be. When the reality is no one has all the "correct" answers when it comes to matters of the heart. Remember one's emotions are neither right nor wrong, but what their feelings are based upon can be in error. Simply put, it is ultimately what you choose to accept and what works for you and your partner.
4. Making your mate the center of your universe. If you're looking for your happiness to come solely from your mate, you're in for a heap of heartache! When you make your whole world revolve around someone else, you lose yourself and give he/she control of your well-being - giving them the power to dictate how you live and exist in the relationship.
5. Not respecting a person's beliefs, space or right to be who they are. It is so disgustingly hurtful when someone doesn't honor or give any consideration to your basic human right to your own set of beliefs, privacy or freedom to be the person you are because it doesn't coincide with their opinions and/or out of their own fears and insecurities. Honey, when you don't respect your mate, what you're essentially saying to him/her is, "I have no regard for you and do not think you have any worth."
6. Lack of Forgiveness. When the person you love and respect disappoints and hurts you, it's painful. I understand. However, you do more harm to yourself and any future relationship if you don't forgive, let go of the bitterness and move on.
7. Bad Communication. One of the hardest things to do is listen. One of the easiest things to do is to be heard. Funny how people can yell and run-off-at-the-mouth about their feelings and what they think you did to them, but turn a blind eye and deaf ear to what is bothering you. Then, they have the nerve to get offended when you become increasingly distant or walk away. WTH?!
Single? Or, are you in an unhappy relationship? 6 HOT things to do for your mind, body & spirit!
1. Treat yourself. Do something special that makes you happy. Whether it's getting a massage, mani/pedi, watching your favorite TV show or movie, etc., you deserve to be treated with kindness and love.
2. Don't disturb your positive groove. Remember in every situation you have choices. Even a prisoner locked in a tiny cell can choose what he/she thinks about and the way they manage to keep going.
3. Try something you've never done before. Check your local paper or go online for interesting activities in your area. Visit on your own or take a friend and make it a contest to see who can talk to the most people.
4. Volunteer your time. Find a charity that is doing something for the holidays. Hey, helping others is a great way to lift your spirits and meet people.
5. Forgive those that have hurt you and move forward without any bitterness.
6. Celebrate the season! Throw a impromptu holiday party or hit the town with your single friends. What better way to get your feel good on and toast the holidays than with family and friends who always have your back.
3 Ways to Get Your Hotness Going!
Honey, we've all had those moments where we didn't feel particularly good due to one thing or another. Or, we've said, "the hell with it!" after we've tried to get that perfect curl, hide that bothersome pimple or find the most flattering outfit to wear. Hey, it is what it is! Anywho, the first thing we need to do in order to feel pretty hot again is to re-focus and "think" of ourselves as HOT, despite our circumstances. Remember, we are who we think we are! So forget that you slept an extra five minutes this morning, because you were too tired or cold to get out of bed; your beloved child and/or husband is tap dancing on your last nerve. Or, that you have an overwhelming pile of stuff to do at work and a few bills that are on your tush like the hungry hounds of hell! Honey, this is no way to feel! Let's reclaim our hotness! Here's how!
1. Turn your cell off & kick everyone out of your space for at least an hour. Grab some scented candles and music and make your environment sexy. Start with a relaxing bath and tell yourself everything you like about you as you run your bath water. Add some bubbles and/or bath salts and a couple drops of vanilla, sandalwood or lavender essential oils. Pour yourself a TALL glass of water. This will keep you hydrated as your spa-like water will dehydrate you. Plus, it's good for your skin and organs. Sometimes all you need is peace and quiet and a ice cold glass of water to start the sexy.
2. Read a book! Simply put, reading gives you new experiences and pushes out old thoughts and stimulate new ones. The Pretty Thoughts of A Hot Chick: Foxy Little Notions for Our Minds, Bodies & Souls (avail at www.amazon.com or www.iuniverse.com) is the perfect pick-me-up or friendly reminder for you at just the right moment when your feeling less than stellar and a pretty thought or two is just what you need to get your swagger off of vacation!
3. Find the humor in the situation or a friend who can. I've said this before and I'll say it again and beyond my grave, laughter is life's best medicine! And as I've learned through my heartaches, disappointments & pain...this too shall pass. Remember, our life is not determined by what happens to us, but by the attitude we bring to our lives.
How to be hotter than everyone else in the room!
Honey, it's that time of year where there's nothing but parties! And some of you are hesitant about attending a few because you feel like you don't have this or look like that. Hogwash! Summon up your hotness with this:
1. Think Pretty. It doesn’t matter if you're larger or smaller than most women, light or dark skinned, different hair texture, etc.You don't have to look like everyone else to be desirable. Remember, you are who you think you are!
2. Add a sexy color to you lips. According to color experts, the ultra feminine pink hue increases heart rate; deep purple causes an intense feeling and red stimulates one's imagination. Use these shades increase your hotness.
3. Always smell good. 'Nough said!
4.Show what is good about your body. Hotness doesn't equal skinny and owning a "great" body isn't the same thing as being sexy. Learn to play with your assets and work it! Wear only what looks good on you! HOT Tip: Undergarments like Spanx can enhance your shape to Pretty Hot Chick proportions!
5. Legendary fashion designer Coco Chanel once said, "A dress should do most of its work from the back." Just as a woman should have a striking entrance, her exit should leave a mesmerizing lasting impression. So whether its pants, jeans, skirt or dress, a fantastic fit with great posture is key. Never leave your house without checking the back of your clothing and head. Now, keep your shoulders back, breasts out, walk with a bit of a strut and sway those hips!
6. Smile! It not only makes you look confident, but you'll appear more approachable. It puts people at ease and will ultimately make you feel at ease. So don't worry. Uncertainty and fear has a negative aura. Be joyful.
7. Be Beauty! Be fearless in your hotness! Present yourself as a Pretty Hot Chick with positive thoughts; polite, pleasant yet stimulating conversation; lush hair (regardless if it's short, mid-length or long, straight, wavy or nappy, weaved, relaxed or natural, in a ponytail or bun) and of course...unafraid to be YOU!
10 Ugly Daily Mistakes You Make That Ruin Your Relationship!
With cheating aside, there are things people say and do that really bother us. And the funny thing is, they commit these atrocities under the guise of love. But Honey, let me tell you what love is not:
1. Being Needy. Need*y (adj) - Wanting or needing affection, attention, or reassurance, especially to an excessive degree. If you seek constant validation of your mate's love or seal of approval on your attractiveness and worth by pushing to be the SOLE source of their happiness, watching how they respond to strangers' advances on social networks and/or nagging about baseless accusations, then you will eventually turn them off and drive them away.
2. Snooping. Going through mate's cell phone, email, FaceBook or Twitter accounts and hiding outside your their home to monitor their activity.
3. Shifting blame and not taking any responsibility for your actions. The truth is so very hard to admit to oneself, much less say. But if you can't own up to your part in the problem, then you're bound to be pointing your finger at empty space.
4. Crowding a person. Not giving your mate space. Everyone should have hobbies/interests outside their relationship. No union can last if you don't take care to have an identity of your own.
5. Constant complaining - Always focusing on and pointing out the negative of EVERYTHING can truly tap dance on one's last nerve and make them want to escape you!
6. Bad romance. Simply put, do you do all the things your mate wants to feel? For example, stimulating conversation, soft kisses on neck and shoulders, etc. Plus, if you know your mate loves music, light some candles and put on some sexy tunes while they're dining, in tub/shower or at the start of foreplay.
7. Low self esteem. There is nothing attractive about a person who doesn't love themselves.
8. Being disrespectful. If you have to yell, utter nasty words and/or raise an angry hand, then what does that say about your love for your mate as well as yourself?
9. Consistently failing to understand your mate's needs. Relationships are tough. But it's a kick-in-the-tush when your mate constantly speaks of his/her needs while ignoring yours. Or better yet, think that by doing what they think you want is enough. NOT!
10. Financial hindrance. To reach any joint monetary goal, you must work together and not play games. Such as, for example, if one mate is the primary breadwinner and takes care of the household, its silly to spend frivolously or withhold funds because someone didn't do what you wanted them to do. You must communicate and reach a common ground.
How to make the most of what you have!
So you weren't born with an hour-glass figure or what society deems a classically beautiful face. Not a problem! Being a hottie involves 3 simple truths...
1. Focus on your positives. Don't sell yourself short because you are not perfect. You are hot despite whatever perceived imperfections! Remember, losing your fears and inhibitions requires loving yourself completely and stretching out of your comfort zone in order to be a Pretty Hot Chick!
2. Be Pretty! Never leave your house without mascara, lipgloss, fragrance, cute hairstyle or hat, great-fitting clothes, adorable shoes and of course pretty thoughts!
3. Speak 2 languages: Body & English! Legendary actress & singer Eartha Kitt once said, "Don't move because you want to go from this point to that point, the body has to be using the words as well as you vocally use the words." Hey a pretty hot chick's middle name is sensuality!
You are who you think you are! Believe in your power & beauty.
When you feel like you want to give up, consider this...
Sometimes it can seem a bit much to deal with work, family, relationship woes and/or personal issues - all maintaining our strength, keeping our sexy and maintaining our pretty thoughts. Hey, it even gets to a point where we have a moment or two and question, "Can I really do this?" or better yet, "I don't think I can do this..." But Honey, right when those thoughts enter our mind, smile and say, "I can do whatever I set my mind too! Keep the faith and steady yourself, because negative thoughts kill ambition. And doubts zap your confidence!" So whatever you wish to accomplish, be persistent and concentrate your power on securing it. Simply put, when your mind is positive and focused, you will create what you wish. Remember, we can become a magnet and draw to us what we desire.
Believe in your power & beauty!
Just because...
...you go to church doesn't mean you're spiritual.
...I'm your friend doesn't mean I'm gonna tell you what you want to hear.
...you love me doesn't mean you control me.
...a person pays you a compliment doesn't mean he/she wants to sleep with
you or spend the rest of their life with you.
...we had sex doesn't mean we made love.
...you can doesn't mean you should.
Detox the Mess & Get Your Hotness On!
Whether it’s surviving the economy, losing a job, break-ups or dealing with family/friendship or career stress, it can take a wretched toll on our spirit and beauty…if we allow it. Hey, life is not determined by what happens to us but by the attitude we bring to life. Here are a few tips & thoughts to revive your state of being:
1. Think “me.” Turn off your Blackberry, Droid, HTC, iPhone! Twice a day, morning and before bedtime, create a peaceful moment where you can be alone and take time to breathe deeply, meditate, pray, or just sit quietly. This allows you to clear your mind and bring closure to the events of the day. Best of all, it prepares you for a restful night’s sleep without any worry. So take a long, slow inhale and think of the things to release from your mind’s space. When you exhale, see those items coming out of your mind and spirit in that breath as you truly let go. Pretty HOT Thought: When I am focused it is impossible to throw me off my course.
2. Let it rain. We all must release some tears to help us shed the layers that prevent us from growing in every aspect of life. Learn the value in the storms that test you. Don’t be afraid to weep. A silent cry never hurt anyone. It simply cleanses your spirit and helps you move on. It can be an empowering experience if you let it. Pretty HOT Thought: A good cry is essential, but a smile is an every day rule!
3. Purge your mind. Free yourself of past hurts, worries and disappointments. Write down your thoughts and feelings about everything that happened to you. Read it over, one last time then shred it! This allows you to cleanse your mind and bring final closure to a situation without causing additional conflict or further negative thoughts. Pretty HOT Thought: I am no longer imprisoned by past disappointments and hurt.
4. Create a remedy that is the complete opposite of your doubts. Choose an affirmation that reflects something you want to achieve. Phrase the affirmation as if you are already achieving it. For example, “I am losing weight.” Repeat it often throughout the day. Pretty HOT Thought: No one can ever come between me and my happiness except me.
5. Embrace the Naked Truth. Focus on your positives! Loving what you see, sans clothing and makeup, is one of the most powerful lessons to be learned. Pretty HOT Thought: Of all the things to wear to enhance my beauty, confidence is the most striking!
How to think like a Pretty Hot Chick!
Pretty Hot Chicks are not born, they're created! They nurture their special brand of hotness and do not allow negativity, low self-esteem and anyone's opinion take up valuable space in their minds. So, if you want to increase your desirability and/or you yearn for something better or different, start with what you think - which leads to your action then becomes your lifestyle. Now honey, commit to memory the 9 Beliefs of a Pretty Hot Chick:
1. My hotness is a conscious choice and a daily practice.
2. I may get bruised, but I’m never broken!
3. Style is how I speak to the world.
4. I have the power to manifest my desires through pretty thoughts, visualization, dedication, persistence and intention!
5. I live in the moment and appreciate the journey.
6. Great sex starts with me.
7. A good cry is essential, but a smile is an every day rule!
8. I am never afraid to find the humor in my mistakes and embarrassing moments.
9. Sex appeal is more than physical attractiveness. It is my body language - how I feel, speak, walk, sit, stand, gesture and move.
Remember...You are who you think you are!
Pretty is as pretty does…
I was not always so sure of my hotness. Many moons ago, I would give too much power to the notion that a desirable woman can’t have flaws…that she had to fit a certain make, model or mode. But one day, after yet another crying fit over what I did not have, or a new pimple or two, I realized after seeing my reflection through tear-stained eyes that I was whatever I chose to be. You see, beauty is more than an aesthetic comprehension, which by the way is purely subjective - it is an idea…most notably a belief…of being a woman who knows who she is and how she chooses to be pretty to the world. Just because you’re not thin, don’t have a big butt, certain facial features, big boobs, small boobs, long hair, a particular hair texture, perfect skin or you’re a little older than the rest, doesn’t mean that you can’t be just as hot as the next woman. Hey, beauty is like ice cream—there are many delicious flavors enjoying their rightful place on this smorgasbord of prettiness. So why not embrace your particular brand of allure?! You’ve got to believe it in order to achieve it honey! And if you do, others will follow. Trust me! So, go ahead and carry yourself like a beautiful woman. Remember, how the world responds to you is up to you! It is by your thoughts, hand and command! Hey, it's the power of the pretty!
Foods to reduce stress!
Stress can wreck havoc on our hotness. So don't let it throw a monkey wrench in your beauty game, honey! Fight back with pretty thoughts, laughter and these delicious treats:
1. Fruits, vegetables and other plant-based foods.
2. Fish (salmon, halibut, trout) several times a week.
3. Olive, flaxseed & safflower oils.
4. Wine (but in moderation, like a glass or two)
5. Yogurt & cheese.
6. Comples carbs like organic oatmeal, brown rice, brown pasta.
7. Walnuts
8. Dark chocolate
Here's a sample of my daily meal plan that helps keep me stress-free:
Morning: organic oatmeal with flaxseeds, blackberries & strawberries
Lunch: spinach or spring mix salad with olive oil, flaxseeds, walnuts, eggs (sometimes), salmon or chicken
Dinner: salad, bok choy or broccoli, salmon/halibut with olive oil, sweet potatoes and a glass of red or white wine.
Snacks between meals: a little piece of dark chocolate, fruit, organic natural popcorn
9 Things Men Notice About You Instantly!
Recently I had a conversation with some of my male friends about what they notice when they first meet a woman. And honey, it's more than just your assets that peak their interest!
1. Your Hair. It's all about lush locks! It signals that you're healthy ladies! So wheteher its, short, mid-length or long, keep those tresses looking fabulush !
2. Your Goddess Glow. Yes Hotties! Guys notice a radiant complexion. So stop letting the stress & anxiety rob you of your glowiness. Psst...! You can also cheat with a great bronzer!
3. Your Eyes & Lips. Baby, your eyes and lips are the first thing people focus on. 'Nough said! So your peepers & pucker should be desirable at all times! Remember, eyeliner, mascara & lipgloss!
4. Your Smile! A bright, sincere smile lights up your face and says your relaxed and fun, which causes a man to drop his guard and feel more comfortable. Also, healthy teeth adds to your allure!
5. Your Voice. Believe it or not, many women have no idea how much power they have just by the tone of her voice. So keep it soft & seductive!
6. Your Hands & Feet. Girl, my friends had me rolling with laughter about some of their horror stories about seeing...well...less than desirable fingers, knuckles, soles and toes. Please do not be a statistic or a punchline! Keep those hands and feet smooth and pretty!
7. Your Style. Men pick up on confidence and what's genuine about you. So know what works for you and stay true to who you are - whether you're a sex kitten, sophisticated lady, glamour puss or a conservative charmer - just be you!
8. Your Shoes. Yes Girl! Men notice rundown heels, raggedy tips, etc. So PLEASE keep your footwear in good condition.
9. Your Scent. A fragrance lingers in a man's mind and Honey guys do like to be seduced. So always let your signature scent be seductive and inviting - never overpowering.
The Pretty Hot Chick Rules to Maintaining your Fabulush-ness!
1. Control your thoughts, your emotions and actions, so that one has little or no influence on HOW you respond.
2. Follow your heart, despite the opinions of others. You can't please everyone, but YOU can be pleased with how you choose 2 live.
3. Forget about being something. BE someone.
4. ALWAYS give your beauty a fighting chance with a diet, hair, makeup, clothes, accessories, shoes and daily stress-free moments that bring out the best in you!
5. At least once a week, dance alone to your favorite sexy tune hearing nothing but the music and lyrics.
Does your happiness begin and end with your thoughts? Ab-so-fabulush-ly! LOL!
6 Fabulush Thoughts of a Pretty Hot Chick!
- How the world responds to you is by your thoughts, hand and command!
- Ask yourself a question: Do you respect yourself? If the answer is "yes", then what actions have you taken and are doing to confirm your self-respect? If no, how and when do you change it?
- In every situation you have a choice. Even a prisoner held in a little cell can choose what he/she thinks about and the way they manage to keep going.
- Don't let anyone make you feel inferior. They can only do it if you allow them.
- Get over any unhealthy competitiveness including any rivalries. Not good for your mind, body or soul. It'll feed whatever doubts and that evil LSE (low self esteem).
- Make a list of your past mistakes and errors of judgment. Then say a prayer, burn the paper - symbolically & finally forgiving yourself.
5 Beauty Things I'm Loving Right Now!
Honey, I see so many products and try a boat load of them. Hell, I even recruit friends and family to test products. LOL! Check out a few of my current favs!
1. Jo Malone Red Roses Bath Oil. Leaves skin soft & smelling yummy! (www.jomalone.com)
2. Aveeno Smart Essentials Anti-Fatigue Eye Treatment. An eye serum and de-puffer that's great for faking a good night's sleep! (Available at drug stores.)
3. Kate Somerville 24 Hour Pimple Punisher. Zits be gone! This dual-sided stick: gel for day and cream for night, sends those pesky pimples packing! (Available at www.sephora.com)
4. Garnier Skin Renew Clinical Dark Spot Corrector. Wanna see your spots run? Try this vitamin C packed tool and watch your marks disappear! (Available at drug stores.)
5. Phyto Phytocyane Revitalizing Shampoo. Looking to grow your strands? This right here will strengthen and help keep your tresses growing! (Available at www.amazon.com)
When to Unleash Your "Bitch" Moment...
...when someone constantly identifies a problem with offering or suggesting a solution.
...when you tell someone quite clearly how you feel and they twist your words to validate their point-of-view or poor listening skills.
...when someone gives you a back-handed compliment (an insult that is disguised as a compliment). For example: "That dress is lovely; it does wonders for your figure."
...when a man assumes he can place a piece of paper with his number on it in your back pocket.
...when you're ALWAYS the designated driver on a night out with your friends.
...when you create a erotic night for your man and he can't even get it up and it has not a damn thing to do with stress, fatigue or medical issues.
Pretty Hot Chick Musts!
Pretty Hot Chicks live as they please (and some of our moves are best-kept secrets! LOL!) So to exist like we do, one must not only adhere to the code of loving yourself first & unconditionally, but possess the following:
1. Confidence. The sexiest thing to wear!
2. Inviting Lips. Red, nude, whatever makes your pucker look delicious!
3. Hot Hair. It's not the length or texture, it's what you DO with it that counts!
4. Fabulous Shoes. Always.
Spare undies. Hey, you never know!
4. Lush Lashes. Lancome Hypnose Doll Lashes Mascara, Maybelline New York Falsies Flared Volum' Express, CoverGirl LashBlast Volume Mascara & Dior DiorShow Extase Mascara are our favorites!
5. Anything in animal print.
6. A Signature Perfume. Yummy is what yummy does.
7. Tattoos & Toys. (Optional.)
5 Ways to Wake Up More Attractive!
Maintaining or increasing our hotness is not easy with the stress of our careers, love life & children. So instead of going to bed with certain worries, honey put 'em to rest because there is nothing you can do about it in your sleep except wake-up looking and feeling a hot mess! From now on, focus on YOU and do the following at bedtime to awake prettier...
1. Drink water. A glass of H2O before bed hydrates the body & keeps skin from looking uneven & parched.
2. Sleep on satin/silk pillowcase for line-free skin & smoother hair.
3. Moisturize. Everywhere. Period.
4. Think pretty! Center your mind on things that make you smile. Don't allow your thoughts to get clouded with worry or negativity. Watch a funny program, listen to soothing music or have an entertaining conversation with your best friend.
5. Have an orgasm! Whether its by the hands, tongue or...huh...tool of your lover or by yourself, let your fingers do the walking to give you the explosion/ release you deserve. (Hey, your favorite Hit Man (adult toy) can do the job too! LOL!) You'll wake-up with one heck of a glow!
5 Skin Problem Solvers!
My, oh my! With our complexion there's always one thing or another. Check out these fixes for some of the most common skin woes!
1. Dark Spots. So you plucked a stray facial hair or you popped a zit, now you're staring at a mark! No worries...Garnier Skin Renew Clinical Dark Spot Corrector (avail at drug stores), Environ Evenescence Clarifying Lotion (877--337-6227) or RX for Brown Skin Naturally Flawless Botancial Brightener (www.rxforbrownskin.com) are our favorite spot removers!
2. Puffy Eyes. Ok, you're packing a little luggage underneath your peepers! Besides getting more sleep, drinking more water, avoiding salty food & putting cool cucumbers and green tea bags under your eyes...Clinique All About Eyes Serum De-Puffing Eye Massage also helps deflate the puffiness!
3. Pimples. I know. I know. You're tired of those bumps that seem to appear at the worst times! Well honey, using a cleanser or scrub with alpha or beta hydroxy or salicylic acids (like Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Wash Redness Soothing Scrub) daily or 2-3 times a week and...Proactiv Repairing Lotion or Refining Mask (avail at www.proactiv.com) will help keep those pesky pimples at bay!
4. Acne Scars. For those postinflammatory hyperpigmentation (red spots) and/or pitted depressions, alpha-beta peels done by a dermatologist or aesthetician or Dr. Dennis Gross Extra Strength Alpha Beta Peel, avail at www.qvc.com as well as Protective Nourishment Pumpkin Enzymatic Peel (www.protectivenourishment.com) will help smooth the skin. Also, a laser treatment (like Fraxel) done by a dermatologist, is another option for the pitted depressions.
5 Beauty Stuff We're Loving Right Now!
1. Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Moisturizing Shampoo. Leaves hair soft & smelling yummy.
2. Chanel No. 19. With floral, green & woody Vetiver notes, this is one fragrance that makes a person want to get closer to you.
3. Neutrogena Microdermabrasion System. I am such a fan of microdermabrasion! It minimizes imperfections & gives skin such a sexy glow! Neutrogena has created a good DIY system.
4. CoverGirl LipPerfection LipColor. We're so hooked on these damn lip shades! Keeps our puckers looking quite seductive!
5. L'Oreal Paris Voluminous False Fiber Lashes Mascara. Now, sinfully long, lush lashes are only an appilcation away!
When will I stop crying for the little girl in me?
He was a pretty powerful figure in my life, handsome, strong, charming, charismatic, a talented singer as well as absent, selfish, arrogant and cruel. I adored and feared him. I wanted to be every beautiful thing he saw in himself. But he physically and mentally abused every woman who ever attempted to love him...nameless faces in a turbulent sea of sex and violence. One evening he gave me a taste of his poison. And as he stood only inches away from my confused eyes, with images of a woman's blood-spattered face dancing in my head, my innocence disappeared...Recently, I finally got to face him - the man that broke my heart and stole my trust in men and relationships many moons ago. It had been 20+ years since I last saw or spoke to him and between that time I went from one relationship to another, one lover to the next searching in the darkness for a piece of me as well as the safety that starts with "daddy" only to happen upon broken men with broken dreams. Isn't it funny how we always seem to attract like-minds?! Well I sat down with my father and we talked, I saw his range of emotions: happiness, remorse, regret, pain, sorrow and hope. Then, as I expressed my bottled up feelings, listened to him, took pictures and hugged him goodbye with the possiblity of a developing a friendship, I saw the little girl who longed for daddy slowly vanishing as she smiled and waved at me, mouthing "I'm ok. I'm finally at peace. We're free Le-Le. Let go. It's ok." Over his shoulder, I waved back through silent tears whispering goodbye knowing she and I will no longer be shedding any more tears nor looking for or accepting applications for "daddy".
Ladies, why are you limiting yourself to dating one man?
Let me just say this. Dating is not about having sex, unless you can handle it and let's face it, many cannot. Think about it. You meet this guy and you're instantly attracted to him. You go out with him, have dinner and a couple of drinks, then he kisses you like you've never been kissed by ANY man! And before you know it, dude is hitting it from the front, side and back...well! Plus, his oral skills are AMAZING! So like a grape, strawberry or Lay's potato chip, you cannot stop at just one. Lust brings you back for more! Now your emotions get involved and you want to see and hear from dude more often and catch an attitude when he does not call or cannot come by. WTH?! Oh, did I mention that you want to know if he's thinking about you as much as you're thinking about him?! Or, you wonder if he stopped dating other women as you've stopped dating other men. And what for? Let me guess...you thought this was something special and that you guys would live happily ever after! LOL! Now who's the fool?! Should've kept it where it was Honey..a good moment. Too much time and energy spent thinking when you should have been living! Live darling! Go out and enjoy yourself! But by all means, stay away from the snake unless you can control how and when you get bitten! I'm just saying!
6 ways to pump up your day!
Get your week off to a yummy start, the Pretty Hot Chick way! Here's how:
1. Do something good for someone. Whether its complimenting a stranger. treating a co-worker, helping a friend, volunteer work or giving your mate an unexpected treat, doing good lifts your mood.
2. Take a stroll while grooving to your favorite tunes. It is so relaxing listening to great music while walking. So grab those headphones and whatever you can plug it into to hear your music and strut!
3. Steal a moment and pleasure yourself. Take little break honey and caress your body. Don't be afraid. Give yourself a bit of loving. Believe me, you'll be glowing for the rest of the day! LOL!
4. Keep smiling. Let nothing steal your joy. I don't care who or what it is. Put 'em on pause and maintain that beautiful smile, no matter what!
5. Flirt with a sexy stranger. Nothing wrong with appreciating the hotness of a hot guy! Plus, it enhances your feminine allure! So go ahead and tell that Pretty Hot Man that his eyes are hypnotizing!
6. Send a naughty text to your lover. Tell him briefly what you'd like to do to him as soon as possible. But honey please use your imagination. Like: "I'd love to do #69 from my "How to Give the Best Blow Job Book!"
5 Ways to Mend a Broken Heart or Better Yet, Get Over an Ex!
1st - Give yourself some time to grieve. Listen to every sad song. Cry. Scream. Do whatever you got to do to work though the pain and purge your mind, body & spirit.
2nd - Realize your strength and CHOOSE to move on. Honey, sometimes people aren't meant to stay in our lives forever. So please dry those tears and remember your bruised, not broken. The hurt will lessen. I promise.
Next - Occupy your time. Throw yourself into work, a hobby you've always been interested in, your children, your family, your dogs or your friends. Do things and stay around folks that help bring a smile to your beautiful face.
Then - Flirt baby. No, you're not looking to jump into anything. You're just flexing your woman or manhood a bit and having fun - and bringing a smile to someone else's life for a passing moment.
Finally - Smile & remember your worth, power & beauty. I don't know what happened to the relationship and quite frankly, I don't need to. The only thing that's important is to take your life back now, one day at a time.
5 Ways to Live Like a Pretty Hot Chick!
1. Don't give a damn what other folks think! Pretty Hot Chicks do not allow people's opinion rent valuable space in our minds. To do so would cause doubt to tap dance on our mojo and we cannot allow that!
2. ALWAYS be fabulush! Wear ONLY what looks & feels good! There is no reason for you to look less than your best. Honey, that's why hats, ponytails, buns, sunglasses, lipstick/lipgloss, fragrances, mascara, chic flats, etc., were invented!
3. SMILE, regardless of what you're going through. Pretty Hot Chicks know that storms never last and a bad moment or situation does not define us.
4. Know your worth! There is nothing worse than a gal who does not believe in her power and beauty! You are who you think you are!
5. Enjoy life! Have fun. It is YOUR responsibility to create your happiness.
5 Tips on How to Reduce Your Stress About Money!
Honey, when those dollar woes start creeping in your thoughts, there's no where to run, no where to hide! But we got a few ways to face it head on and win!
1. Forgive yourself. Whatever you did or didn't do to get you in the situation you're in right now will not help by dwelling on it. Instead, sit back, take a deep breathe and think of something that makes you feel good. This will calm your anger, fear & disappointment.
2. Access the financial problem calmly & write down realistic solutions. Seek advice from those that you trust and admire.
3. Build a financial cushion, safety net or reserve (Honey, I keep an emergency fund that I call my "Titty Kitty") by setting aside money weekly for unexpected expenses.
4. Just say "No" to family, friends, co-workers who's always trying to hit you up for money. Of course, you want to be helpful to your family & friends, but on the other hand every other month, to your detriment and/or while their caring for any grown-ass kids, men, etc., hell no!
5. Spend only on what's important to you and will NOT break your bank! If your expenses out weigh your resources, then baby, "Find a pole and generate some dollars to cover yourself, because its obvious you're exposing yourself for something or someone you can't afford." Place a greater value on using your financial resources wisely. |
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